source F-22 is
awsome
Admits F-22 Actually Propelled by ‘Sheer Awesomeness’
ANN APRIL 1st “SPECIAL” EDITION: Lockheed-Martin has held yet another press conference in order to attempt to explain the amazing flight characteristics of its star military fighter jet, the F-22 Raptor, and avoid the program’s possible termination.
“We have explained repeatedly that the F-22 does not violate any laws of nature.” says Lockheed spokesperson George Heeber, continuing his policy of insisting the F-22 is a “normal” jet.
Despite the consistent story of aerodynamics and gimbal-mounted engines being responsible, even experienced aviators observing the F-22 in flight have been known to express disbelief.
“No (deleted) way!”
“Unbelievable!”
“Are you going to finish that hotdog?”
Those are just some of the comments heard at a recent air show in Pensacola, where the F-22 powered through slipping and skidding turns, looped around its lateral axis, and recovered from flat spins before teleporting back to Earth and curing the common cold while it was at it.
In fact, several independent studies of the aircraft have revealed that more than just jet fuel is required to power the F-22 through its amazing aerobatics.
“They’ll try to throw around buzzwords like ‘thrust-vectoring’ and ‘particle physics’ but the truth is that it’s just forced forward by the sheer density of the arrogance behind it,” so says totally jealous French aerospace engineer Jean Fornier.
Wow
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April 1, 2009 at 7:10 am