Joke of the day

airline abbreviations
AA (American Airlines) – Always Awful

AI (Air India) – Allah Informed

ALITALIA – Always Late In Takeoff Always Late In Arrival ,Air Line In Tokyo And Luggage In Amsterdam

BOAC (British Overseas Airways Corp.) – Better On A Camel ,Bloody Old and Careless

CA (China Airlines) – Choose Another

CAAC (Civil Aviation Authority of China ?) – Chinese Airline Always Canceled , China Airlines Almost (Always) Crashes

CPA (Canadian Airl.Intl.) – Can’t Promise Anything (New code CAI) – Crash And Ignite, Call Ambulance Immediately, Circle Airport Indefinitely, Cruise Above Iceland, Cancel Alaskan Itinerary, Call Attendants “Idiots”, Check All Items, Copilots Are Imbeciles, Casual Atmosphere Inside

DELTA – Don’t Even Leave The Airport, Don’t Ever Leave The Airport, Don’t Even Let Them Aboard (referring to the arabs?), Departing Even Later Than Anticipated

EAL (Eastern) – Eastern’s Always Late

ELAL – Every Landing Always Late

JAT (Yugoslav Airlines)- Joke About Time

KLM = Koop Lockheed Majesteit (Buy Lockheed, Your majesty, after the Lockheed bribe scandal which involved HRH Prince Bernhard of the Netherlands)

LOT (Polish Airlines) – Last One There, Luggage On Tarmack (wave ‘bye!)

LUFTHANSA – Let Us ##### The Horses, Are No Stewardesses Available

PA (Philippine Airways)- Please Avoid

PAL (Phil. Airlines) – Philippines Always Late

PAN AM – Plan On Arriving Nervewracked And Mad

PIA (Pakistan Intl.Airl) – Please Inform Allah, Panic In Air ,Perhaps I Arrive

QANTAS – Queer And Nasty Types As Stewards

SABENA (Belgium) – Such A Bloody Experience, Never Again, Such A Bad Experience, Never Again

SAHSA (Servicio Aero Honduras SA) – Stay At Home, Stay Alive

SAS (Scandinavian Airl. System) – Sweet And Sexy, Sex And Service

SIA (Singapore Intl.Airl.) – So Incredible, Aah

TACA – Take A Chance Airline

TAP (Portuguese Airl.) – Take Another Plane

TRANSAVIA – To Rape A New Stewardess After V1 Is Allowed.

TWA (Transworld Airl.) – Travel Without Arrival, Try Walking, Asshole , Try Walking Again, The Worst Airline, Took Wrong Airline, Try Walking Across (transatlantic perspective), Travel With Arabs, Terrorist Welcome Aboard, Terrorists With Arms, Teenie Weenie Airlines, Traveling Without Air, Tiny Wings Aflappin , Time Waste Airlines

Usair – Unfortunately, Still Alleghany In Reality

A SABENA airliner pulls up behind a KLM airliner on a crowded taxiway.
SABENA to KLM on tower freq: “KLM holding number 4 come up 3030 (303.3 Unicom).” After a few minutes they call again “KLM holding number 3 come up 3030.” Still no response so they call tower : “Tower tell the KLM aircraft ahead of SABENA 123 to come up on 3030”

Just then the KLM crew jumps in and says, “Tower please tell the SABENA Aircraft that the professionals at KLM Dutch Airlines don’t come up on discreet frequencies when they should be monitoring tower.”

The SABENA Aircraft then replies, “Okay tower, that’s no problem but could you just let the professionals at KLM know that their gear pins are still in.”

(A moment of silence)

KLM : Tower, KLM 3030 needs to return to the gate.

Why does the Pope kiss the ground each time that he lands ?
Did you ever fly with Alitalia ?