Fifty Shades of Grey – A husbands view
The missus bought a Paperback
…down Shepton, Saturday,
I had a look inside her bag;
….T’was “fifty shades of grey”.
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread…..
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a long black whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn’t weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
…..I am the dominater !!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You’d see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I’d uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
“Step on the other one”!!
Well readers, I can’t tell no more;
About what occurred that very day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of Grey.
😀
By: Lindermyer - 20th October 2012 at 20:59
Very funny.
I had heard of the book and assumed it was just another femcentric self-help book, so I looked it up on Amazon. I got a bit of a surprise.
Think youreself lucky
Picture the scene tis a lovely sunday afternoon and all aresat around the living room relaxing (me and the father with a wee dram) watching a film. All but mother that is, Mother is reading on her kindle a book called 50 shades of Grey.
When all of a sudden mother looks up from the kindle utters those immortal words “Whats Fisting”. Ive no Idea never heard of it says the wife. Glancing at my father as i beat a hasty retreat “youre on your own says I”
The next words I heard were What the B@*^% hell are you reading.
My mothers almost 65 its not the sort of thing you want to have to explain to youre mother, especially when you know the next questions are 1 are you sure and 2 how do you know.
The book should come with some sort of warning, if not for the reader then for innocent bystanders.
oh also nicked the poem
By: J Boyle - 20th October 2012 at 16:35
Very funny.
If you ever wonder why old guys like younger women, there lies your answer.:D
I think men always see themselves the way they were when they were young…and when your partner turns into something that looks like your granny did when you were young…well, it’s not pretty.
I had heard of the book and assumed it was just another femcentric self-help book, so I looked it up on Amazon. I got a bit of a surprise.
By: charliehunt - 19th October 2012 at 15:14
Superb!!:D:D
By: Scott Marlee - 19th October 2012 at 15:08
that is brilliant 😀
By: Wyvernfan - 19th October 2012 at 08:36
Feel free, i nicked it from facebook :p
Rob
By: paul178 - 18th October 2012 at 23:13
I love it! I have also nicked it for another forum!:D
By: Hurn - 18th October 2012 at 22:40
Haha. 😀
By: TonyT - 18th October 2012 at 18:22
Lol, excellent
😀
Sign In
October 18, 2012 at 5:54 pm