Afternoon chaps and chapettes,

I must admit i’m a little annoyed at the second having read this thread. I have a degree from the best new University in the country, gotten through hard work and a rediculous amount of personal debt. Due to neccessity, and the current financial climate, I am working full time in a bookshop on minimum wage. I am the only employee (other than my General Manager) who is full time. Therefore when she’s on lunch, or away, or ill, I am the unpaid acting manager. In this role I have no distinguishing marks to denote me as a full-timer, as the store is pretty inflexible when it comes to uniform, nor do I don the sacred ‘Manager’ tag- as my name’s not Sandy- not even on weekends.

So, when Old Shape says that he’ll immediately bypass me to go to my General manager because he’s pre-determined his problem to be above my paygrade it irks me somewhat. I work exceptionally hard to provide a good customer service as I know that’s the way we get sales, which is what pays my meager wages.

I think that it should be mandatory for everyone to work in a customer-facing situation for one day every year to really undderstand what it’s like to be told that you’re an idiot for not knowing immediately that you wanted the economics book by Begg, and not by Griffiths. Or being told that you’re a “cretin” for serving someone before you when after waiting at the bar for 10 minutes you respond to the question: “What can I get you, mate?” by turning around to ask everyone in your party what they want. It’s genuinely infuriating to be talked down to by a bloke in a suit as if he’s worth more than me because he flashes one of many notes under my nose. What do I get for that abuse night after night? £5.72 an hour and a bad back.

So it must be noted that whilst there are many delightful people I serve on a regular basis, there are also some customers who are morons. Below are some tips for customers, arisen from my own personal experience:

1) Never open a conversation with the phrase “Do you have…” A “Good Morning”, “Hi”, or even an apologetic look will do wonders to my attitude towards you, just as it will the other way around.

2) If you’re listening to music through headphones, turn it off. Take the damned thing out of your lugholes before you even think of asking me a question. You may be a phenomenal lip-reader, but if I will not serve you if you have them in.

3) If you do require assistance finding a title, as is your right, we are there to help. However, we can only help within certain parameters. If we can get it for you from another branch it will take a few days. I will not drive to Liverpool and get it for you for before your exam tomorrow morning. Similarly, we will not package books bought at our store over a year ago and send them on our DHL account to your new home in India.

4) Prices are non-negotiable. We are not in a barter economy (yet, anyway). £39.99 means you pay £39.99, not with a bookmark thrown in, and not with a special discount because it had been filed incorrectly. If you think you saw it cheaper in another store, sod off and get it there.

5) We are NOT a library. You can’t buy a book, use it for three days and then return it. If you DO try it- don’t ask before hand, I’ll just make a note of your intentions on your reciept and refuse return. Similarly, whilst we do take back old books as second-hand on occasion, we’re a business, not a charity. 30% are our terms, like ’em or lump ’em.

6) We are obligated by our superiors to ask if you have or want a reward/dicount/club card. A simple “no, thank you” will sufice. We don’t want to say the speel any more than you want to hear it.

However soon hopefully i’ll be in a much better paid job, but will never forget how to treat the poor guys and girls on minimum wage in order to get the best service.