These are in connection with the rumoured purchase of Jaguar and Land Rover by TATA, an Indian company.
How do you Upgrade a TATA?
A: Put in an engine.
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Q: Why do TATA’s have heated rear windows?
A: To keep your hands warm when you’re pushing them.
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Q: What goes on pages 4-5 of the TATA’s user’s manual?
A: The train & bus schedule.
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A man goes to a parts garage:
Man: “Can I have a windshield wiper for a TATA please?”
Parts man: “Yeah, that seems like a fair swap.”
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Q: What is the sport-version of TATA?
A: The driver wears Nike shoes.
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Q: What do you call a TATA at the top of a hill?
A: A miracle.
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Q: What do you call two TATA’s at the top of a hill?
A: A mirage.
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Q: What do you call a TATA with dual exhausts?
A: A wheelbarrow.
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Q: How do you double the value of a TATA ?
A: Half fill it with petrol!
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Q: What do you call a TATA with brakes?
A: Customized.
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Q: What do you have to do if your TATA gets in the way of a swarm of killer bees?
A: Stop pushing and take refuge into the car.
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Q: What is the TATA owner’s most ardent wish?
A: To buy a car.
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Q: What do you call a TATA with a seat belt?
A: A rucksack.
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Q: How do you make a TATA go faster uphill?
A: Throw out the passenger & make him push.
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Q: How do you make a TATA go faster downhill?
A: Turn off the engine.
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Q: What do you call a TATA with a flat tire?
A: A write off.
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TATA has announced a new 16 Valve model for 2006.
8 in the engine, 8 in the radio.
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– I can see you’ve got a new car – a TATA!
– Yes, I won the second prize in a lottery.
– What was the first prize then?
– A fruit-basket.
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TATA’s are so slow that you actually have to wipe off the bugs from the rear end of the car
With thanks to
Bo Nalls
By: steve rowell - 5th January 2008 at 06:35
If this doesn’t make you chuckle you obviously have no sense of humour
An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman went for a round of golf and their wives went along as their caddies.
While walking around the course the English man’s wife caught her foot in a rabbit hole, tripped up, and landed in a heap on the ground. Her skirt was over her head revealing that she wasn’t wearing any knickers!
The Englishman stormed over and angrily demanded a reason for her state of undress.
“Well darling,” she explained, “you give me so little allowance that I have to make the odd sacrifice. Usually no one notices.”
The Englishman thrusts his hand into his pocket and said, “Here’s ten pounds. Go to Mark’s and Spencer’s and get some knickers.”
Two holes further along the Irish Man’s wife caught her foot on a molehill, tripped up and landed in a heap on the ground. Again her skirt was up over her head revealing that she wasn’t wearing any knickers either!
The Irish man was livid and he angrily demanded a reason for her lack of undergarments.
“Well darling,” she explained, “you give me so little allowance I cannot afford to buy undergarments.”
With that the Irish man thrust his hand into his pocket and said, “Here’s three pounds. Go to Woolworth’s and get some knickers.”
Three holes further on, the Scottish man’s wife caught her foot on an exposed root, tripped up and landed with her skirt over her head revealing that even she wore no knickers!
Her explanation to her irate husband was the same as the others. Simply a lack of allowance.
The Scottish man thrust his hand into his pocket and said, “Here’s a comb. The least you can do is tidy yourself up a bit.”
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January 3, 2008 at 7:56 pm