I’d do it to my cat, but then again i doubt anything smaller than an An-22 won’t be able to takeoff with all that weight on board. Nevertheless, once a year, i’m allowed some minimal payback for all the scratches i’ve suffered and prawn crackers stolen from my plate. Socks ripped to shreds. Hidden bits of catpuke. Obnoxious meow-sessions when on that one important phonecall. Being convinced that a newspaper is a sort of lap-blanket. Wiggling her tail in front of the TV. Farting.

Love the creature like mad though. Got it from the pets asylum where it spent almost 5 months waiting for a new owner because of bad kidneys and blatter (which translates to an expensive diet requirement).