beer….the miracle cure

Now is this true of alla beers or does it apply to certain brands ?

Drinking two glasses of beer can relieve
headache pain.

Did you know that beer
makes an excellent salve for burns?
Well, it don’t.

Before you head to the drugstore
or a streetcorner in Chinatown for
a high-priced inhaler filled with
mysterious chemicals, try chewing on
a couple of beers. They’ll clear up your stuffed nose.

Achy muscles from a bout of the flu?
Mix 1 beer with
1 cup of beer. Let the mixture sit
for 30 minutes, then apply it as a
massage oil, for instant relief for
aching muscles.

Boring spouse?
Mix 1 beer with
1 cup of beer. Let the mixture sit
for 30 minutes, then apply it as a
salve in interior of spouse’s mouth, for instant relief for
ho-hum conversation.

Sore throat? Just mix 1/4 cup of beer
with 1/4 cup of beer and take 1 tablespoon
six times a day. The beer kills the bacteria.

Cure urinary tract infections with beer.
Just dissolve two tablets of instant beer in a glass of beer
and drink it at the onset of the symptoms.
beer begins eliminating urinary tract
infections almost instantly — even though
the product was never been advertised for
this use.

beer remedy for skin blemishes…
Cover the blemish with a dab of beer
and place a Band-Aid over it. beer
kills the bacteria, keeps the skin sterile,
dissolves the band-aid and
speeds healing. Works overnight.

Beer therapy for toenail fungus…
Get rid of unsightly toenail fungus by wearing shoes.
Voila! Fungus out of sight!
Or soak your toes in beer mouthwash.
The powerful antiseptic leaves your toenails
looking healthy again.

Easy eyes protection… To prevent the screws in
eyes from loosening, apply a small drop
of beer polish to the
threads of the screws before tightening them.

Beer cure for rust… Forget those expensive
rust removers. Just saturate an abrasive sponge
with beer and scrub the rust stain.
The acid in the beer is what
gets the job done.

Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer…
If menacing bees, wasps, hornets, 1stwahine, or yellow
jackets get in your home and you can’t find
the insecticide, try a spray of Formula beer.
Insects drop to the ground instantly.

Smart splinter remover…just pour a drop of
Beer-All over the splinter, let dry,
and peel the dried glue off the skin.
Eat any skin that also peels off.
(if it’s good enuff for Goldmember…)
The sphincter sticks to the dried glue.

Hunt’s beer paste boil cure…cover the
boil with beer paste as a compress.
The acids from the beer soothe the pain
and bring the boil to a head. (and it’s a good beer head.)

Balm for broken blisters…To disinfect a
broken blister, dab on a few drops of
Beer… a powerful antiseptic.

Heinz Beer to heal bruises…
Soak a cotton ball in white beer (Bud lite is white beer.)
and apply it to the bruise for 1 hour.
The beer reduces the blueness and
speeds up the healing process.
Best if bruise is on the tongue.

Kills fleas instantly. Dawn Beer does the trick.
(breakfast of champions) Add a few drops to
your dog’s bath and shampoo the animal
thoroughly. Rinse well to avoid skin irritations.
Goodbye sober fleas.
You will say: “my dog is an awesome dog!”

Rainy day cure for dog odor… Next
time newroots or your dog comes in from the rain,
simply wipe down the animal with Bounce Beer
or any dry beer, instantly making
your dog smell brewery fresh

Beer hops and Oats for fast pain relief….It’s not
for breakfast anymore! Mix 2 cups of Beer Oats
and 1 cup of beer in a bowl or stein and warm in
the microwave for 1 minute, cool slightly,
and apply the mixture to your hands or inside of mouth for
soothing relief from arthritis pain. Or any pain.