Ass-blasting Party Mix

Alright, here’s a holiday treat for all you guys and gals 😎

Everyone knows about Chex mix, that cereal snacky stuff. Fine. Whatever. Mine is better 😀

To start-preheat your oven to 225 degrees.

You will need-

1. A big-ass metal disposable pan. The kind that you put turkeys into the oven in is good.
2. One box wheat Chex.
3. One half box corn Chex (you will notice-these boxes are bigger. If it’s not, then one of your boxes is the WRONG SIZE!)
4. 3 sticks of butter (I use the Imperial brand, gives you four sticks in a box. Whatever you do, ONLY USE THREE.)-this equates to 1.5 cups.
5. 2 tablespoons of Garlic powder. Go ahead and try garlic salt if you want, but it’ll end up being way too salty.
6. 2 tablespoons of Season Salt. I use either McCormicks or Lowry’s, and I use the spicy kind.
7. 3 tablespoons worcestershire sauce
8. 4 tablespoons tabasco sauce, more or less to taste. I use 1 of the normal red stuff, one of the green stuff, and two of the Habanero kind 😀
9. One bag of stick pretzels.
10. Some peanuts, I use maybe two cups.

Alrighty then. Time to cook. First take the chex, peanuts, and pretzels, and mix them good in the metal oven pan thing.

Now put the butter in a saucepan and melt it good. Once it’s melted, put the rest of the seasoning crap into it, stir it, and heat it for like 5 minutes. Gotta keep stirring though.

Now add half the sauce to the mix, and stir it good to get everything coated. Then add the rest and repeat.

Now throw the pan into the preheated oven and bake it for 20 minutes. Take it out and stir it up. This is important, you don’t want the sauce to sink to the bottom and get half your mix all greasy and soggy. This also occurs if you used all four sticks of butter. Dumbass, read the damn directions!

Now 20 more minutes. Then stir. Then 20 more minutes, then stir. Then 10 more mintues to get the last of the sauce dried up. Let the stuff cool off (overnight works best), bag it or throw into a bowl, and serve.

Oh, and if you use anything extra to spice it up even more, like I usually do, keep it away from women. My wife tried a pretzel from the last batch and gave me a nasty look followed by “your chex mix kills girls” 😀