New Airport security agency

150 years ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire a private investigator – Alan Pinkerton – for protection.
That was the beginning of the Secret Service.
Since that time, the US Federal goverment has produced a large number of multi-letter agencies such as: FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA, BATF, etc
Now we have the”Federal Air Transportation Airport Security Service”. Can’t you see then now, these highly trained men and women in their black outfits with jackets saying across the back “F.A.T.A.S.S”
The FATASS’s are of course supervised by a special section of the Home and Security section known as: Airport Security Service Home Office Logistics Enhancement Section or the A.S.S.H.O.L.E.S