Pissaphone

I remember a documentary a few years ago a PR Spitfire pilot recalled partying a bit too much the night before the mission. Having taken off he needed to pee, but at altitude his bits and pieces had shrunk in the cold and he couldn’t reach the tube. He subsequently peed himself and it turned to ice on the inside of the windscreen. So, 30,000 odd feet over Germany, unarmed, and chipping frozen urine off the windscreen. Those were the days..

Alan Shepard had the right idea if not the right stuff. He just did it in his space suit lying on his back on top of a fully fuelled Mercury-Redstone rocket on the launch pad and became the first American in space.

The Chinook still has one near the ramp; cue much mirth amongst the troops when the ALM tells them what it is then tells the Officer that it’s a Gosport Tube for communicating with the pilots. “No sir, you need to get it much closer for them to hear you….”

Trolly Aux

Crikey ! Some accurate targeting required there ! Now, if we’d had women bomb aimers….

Somewhere I recall reading of bomber crews taking beer bottles with them and dropping those, suitably refilled, “somewhere over Germany”.

I have recounted here before the sad story of using the official apparatus in the Mosquito and only succeeding in lubricating the cockpit floor

I figure that in addition to the megatonnes of bombs delivered there were probably 3,478 kg of air sick bags, urine drops, half eaten sandwiches and false teeth dropped on the Axis.

The Americans also dropped a dead donkey in full uniform onto the Fatherland…

RAF standard Pee Tube as seen in this photo found online:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/59662214@N06/6896484499/

Funnily enough I’m just been trying to research the specs for something not dissimilar to that for our Horsa cockpit. For historically accuracy we’re meant to have one hanging off the bulkhead next to the pilot.

The details elude me now but if you read Michael Bentine’s autobiography there is a yarn in there about how as Intelligence Officer he had to sort out a complaint via the Red Cross that his squadron was dropping Elsans on Germany…

Adrian

Ian

How did women perform ? Was the utensil perfumed and pink ? My scientific curiosity is aroused. Women agents were dropped into Occupied France from Librators; in case anyone thinks that they have spotted the accidental flaw !

I think you find they used one of these, heated for them as well ! PEEETOE TUBE

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RAF standard Pee Tube as seen in this photo found online:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/59662214@N06/6896484499/

AERO URINARY APPARATUS, MARK I

I have an Air Board specification from May 1918, for the, AERO URINARY APPARATUS, MARK I.

The device has the following general description:

General Description.—The apparatus consists of a rubber funnel attached at its smaller (and lower) end to a length of rubber tube, terminating in an elliptic container. Attached to the top of the funnel is an internal conical sleeve of soft rubber, the annular space between funnel and sleeve forming a trap preventing any back-flow from the connecting tube. A non-return valve of the rubber flap type is provided in the upper end of the container and a screwed vulcanite or ebonite drain plug in the lower end, the cap of the drain plug being retained by a short chain. Two rubber lugs attached to the funnel are adapted to button to an adjustable waistbelt, which supports the apparatus in use, and a suspensory bandage is attached to the lugs and to the belt by tapes. An adjustable elastic strap keeps the container against the leg of the wearer.

Ian

How did women perform ? Was the utensil perfumed and pink ? My scientific curiosity is aroused. Women agents were dropped into Occupied France from Librators; in case anyone thinks that they have spotted the accidental flaw !

I think you lot are taking the ****

I believe the RAF version was chrome plated. We’re not peasants, after all. Corsairs had the ‘relief’ tube clipped to the control column.

I figure that in addition to the megatonnes of bombs delivered there were probably 3,478 kg of air sick bags, urine drops, half eaten sandwiches and false teeth dropped on the Axis.

That’s a helluva thought! Where did you get such a precise weight from?? And no doubt the reverse was true and we were bombed with German rubbish!

The seat is missing!