At some point either my wife or I have neglected to tick the ‘not interested in other services’ box on some financial application, so we get phone calls from the bank/building society which goes a little something like:
Them: Is that Mr Snafu?
Me: Erm, yes?
Them: This is Smug Git at We’veGotYourCustomAndWeDon’tCareAnymore Bank. I’d just like to talk to you about life insurance/internet banking/loans and mortgages/facilities available at your local branch/etc. But before we chat I just need to ask you a few security questions…
Me: I don’t think I’m interested, thanks.
Them: Well, we need to ask you the questions to make sure we’ve got the right person. Can you tell me the pass word that you have agreed with us?
Me: Nope, haven’t a clue.
Them: You set it up with us.
Me: Maybe the wife did, but I haven’t the foggiest what it is.
Them: It isn’t too difficult, it might even be the answer to the question about your wife’s maiden name.
Me: I know that one! But what proof do I have that you are Thieving Bast’s Building Society?
Them: I introduced myself at the start of this phone call.
Me: You did, but you called me and still want me to prove who I am – and I don’t have a security question to ask you!

Suffice to say their call is most unproductive from their point of view.