Sitting here in tears, a beautiful poem, thanks for posting it Jethro. It was poignant for me as I too lost a feline friend whilst on holiday.

I got back from Spain last night after being there 3 weeks. Whilst I was there I did one of the hardest things in my life. My parents have lots of feral cats where they live, about 6 or 7 of them. One of them a beautiful ginger tom,called Liso, who has been around our house for the past 5 years or so, as a kitten, so he wasnt too feral. Well to cut a long story short he somehow got poisoned. My stepdad and the builder were in tears at the state Liso was in. They knew he needed euthanising, but they couldnt do it. My mum cried and said that I was to do it. So trembling I went to see what I could do for Liso.

I saw what I could do for him, maybe clean the poison off him but it was everywhere. I phoned a vet for advice, he told me drown it as it was feral. I couldnt, he was a familar friend and his offspring were getting fed by us every day. I did what I had to, and I tried to make him comfy on a blanket. We were having a dinner party for my stepdads birthday so it was all systems go getting food prepped. I didnt settle, made my excuses to go sit with Liso. He died in my arms, so he wasnt alone. My mum asked why I was crying and how I was responsible for killing him. He was dying anyway, it was just kinder to assist him with an injection, but it tore at my heart. I cried on and off for about 5 days, but cheered up when Liso’s offspring came up and wrapped themselves around my legs – I took it as a sign that I did what was best for Liso and that I was ok as a person by their standards.

My thoughts are with you Paul, losing a cherished pet is hard, but I hope you find comfort knowing that Pebbles had a good life, one that you gave her.

Take care, sorry for the long post, just had to get my guilt/sadness off my chest.