Nah – soccer is played by Ah-murr-ik-khans. Apparently it is a game played with a ball and with girls since it is not rough enough for real men.
Football is played here in Britain by preening wannabe rapists high on cocaine and the like, on the lookout for supermodel girlfriends whilst being sulky because the ref was playing for the opposition, always the opposition. (Ok, not all of them. Some of them are ugly gits, drinking and gamboling and cheating on their wives. You can read about them in the Sunday papers…)

Flood.™