A town near you ?

Lets just say that after the first 1 tried to have a go, I put the ****** in his place so quick him and his M8 were both running back to Lincoln very very quickly 🙂

He was able to run ?
Sounds to me like you didn’t do the job properly 😉

I had the “pleasure” of a couple of these twats trying take the **** out of me when I was at Waddo very early this year.

Lets just say that after the first 1 tried to have a go, I put the ****** in his place so quick him and his M8 were both running back to Lincoln very very quickly 🙂

Chavs are funny to annoy. There are so many around here who try and show off in their cars. One guy started making ‘comments’ about my fiancee when he didnt think i was listening. So i quietly poured his pint (of strongbow no less) into his lap to cool off his burning loins. He jumped up and started mouthing off, ending up in pulling his LIGHTER from his kappa trousers and motioning rather badly as to what he was going to do to me. Luckily, being in the pub with the entire 1st and 2nd XV rugby sides of my ex-school has advantages; namely that when he saw the combined might of the scrum heading his way he decided to run and cower behind his girlfriend (who was a nice girl before becoming involved with him).

On another occasion myself and several other like-minded individuals went camping in a local wood. At about 2AM the chavs arrived and started burning things and listening to their stereos very loudly. Being all in Army uniform (mixture of OTC,ACF,ATC and CCF) we decided to spoil their fun by running in on the lot of them screeming “BRITISH ARMY! FREEZE!! DOWN ON THE GROUND!!” and plasticuffing them for a while. I’m sure at least 2 of them cacked themselves. I know its a little extreme- but its the only way they’ll learn, and they’re never going to find me!!! If your ever in Pontypool or Monmouth- ask about the VPS… most people will know what you mean
BARNOWL

Well it seems, according to the local rag, that the Mayor of Padiham has read what was said about Padiham on that site, and he is not a happy bunny!

Yeah i have, funniest was one that hasn’t liked me for ages (i called him a woman beater when he started slagging off some of my lady friends for the gross act of sitting down), one day decided to make a gun shape with his hand, point it at me and go ‘bang’. I had a rubber pellet gun which i bought from the poundshop earlier that day tucked into my trousers at the time, when i pulled it out and shot him the look on his face was priceless, i think he may have actually crapped himself, boy i bet he felt stupid when he realised i shot him with a bright orange rubber dart 😀

Padiham (Near Burnley)..SPEAK SLOWLY!!!
Welcome to Padiham,where one,strangely literate individual,capable of some form of wit changed the “Welcome to Padiham please drive slowly” sign to “Please speak slowly”
This about sums up the intellectual capacity of this East Lancashire backwater.
Even KFC is Krunchy Fried Chicken which tastes worse than the name it has ripped off,but still the local scum,armed with a can of White Lightning and a Kosovan B&H at £2.50 a pack,queue up to wreck their immune system with s**t food.

Then you can move on to any of Padiham’s finest hostelries where the local scum drink cheap “Get as p****d as you like for a fiver alcopops”,whilst they eyeball each other threateningly over their chavette slapper girlfriend’s three-in-a-buggy prams,which act as mobile ashtrays and filing cabinets for their benefit claim forms.
Shopping in Padiham is a class experience,as it has a wonderful range of charity shops,”Kwik Save”,staffed by the most glamourous (Slight degree of sarcasm) chavettes,plus the inevitable “Day & Nite” where the aforementioned scum stock up on White Lightning and Pot Noodles (alternative Padiham fodder to KFC).There are however no Rockport or fake Burberry stockists.
Shopping in Padiham is a busy experience especially during the week as hardly anyone works,the concept of work is a four letter word,not as nice as the four letter word “Giro”.
Another famous local ammenity are the Church Street public toilets,renowned for their nocturnal “cottaging” activities.
For the great outdoors,visit the Memorial Park,where the local heroes deface the war memorial with illiterate graffitti,because they can’t spell their own names,strew the kids area with WKD bottles & syringes & generally get on everyone’s t**ts.
Failing that take in the Cricket Club where the lowlife seem to take pleasure in creating the European strong cider can mountain,whilst smashing up every amenity provided for decent people.
One of the great highlights of the Padiham chav scum’s social calendar is “Walking Day”,Whit Sunday to the rest of us,when the church going brigade walk from church to church behind brass bands.This gives the local scum the opportunity to get totally p****d,as the police turn a blind eye to the pubs opening at 10 a.m. to get the pondlife off the streets.
It is perfectly acceptable for the chavettes to take their countless baby chavs into the pubs to witness their parents getting paralytic on WKDs,or whatever alcopop is on “buy one get one free”
P.S.I live in Padiham,and I work,as do a lot of other decent people.It’s just that we are p*****d off with the increasing numbers of scum that drift in from serious chav towns such as Burnley,Blackburn & Accrington (Chav capital of Britain)
Padiham is just off Junction of the M65.Just avoid”

Just for the record…..I live in Padiham, only have 2 kids, don’t claim benefits, work damn hard for a living, on only wear my baseball cap for work (basically cos it’s generally raining) and I have yet to have a night out in Padiham and I have lived here 10 years!

Kidderminster is indeed an almighty tip. I once witnessed two girls glassing each other in an especially fine public house there. “Kiddy” does have one saving grace – the excellent fish and chips at Captain Cod near the station/footy ground.

I used to go through stourbridge on the way to visit a friend of mine in possibly the biggest hole I have ever visited. That place being Kidderminster, don’t really ever want to go near either place again if I can help it.

Ah, my home town of Stourbridge…

Well, what can one say about the highly respectable Stourbridge Massiv? There is a fabtastic range of haute couture clothing stores for the fashionable Chavette about town to shop from, including such Bond Street stores as Primark, Oxfam, Select and many many more! After all this high price shopping, the Chavette may need refreshment, which can be provided in the shape of Maccie D’s, Olivios Pizza Place (currently rivalled by No1 Pizza, they are both in the market for catering for the ‘pissed-up’ Chav on their return home at 2 in the mornin from the “Pictraaaass” (Picture House Nightclub)) and if the Chav is feeling upmarket, they may opt for the pricier Subway option, and no, whilst there are many things available in Stourbridge subways I’m actually talking about the restaurant chain.

😮 😀

The replies to some of the articles are the best bits, the people replying seem to be trying their hardest to reinforce the scally/chav/ned stereotype without even realising it. A Depressing but funny site

Scunthorpe

“Scunthorpe…. The name says it all! When I first moved here in 1994 chavs existed but they were mainly isolated in their chavpalaces in the westcliffe or riddings areas. These days they are littering our streets with their chavness.

Nowadays you cannot go into town on a half term/saturday/holiday without chavs and chavettes being in your face and occupying the seats in all the “quality” eateries in the centre. The peaks of their caps at 45 degrees to the vertical blocking out the rest of the light for all the chav trainees that love to munch in their. Now apart from the obvious population of chavs, Scunthorpe is actually a very chavvy town by its own right. 3 Maccy D’s & 2 KFC’s; a multitude of £1 shops (The everything £7 shop closed down as it was too pricey) and Netto! There’s only 1 Burger King as its too high quality for chavs!

Morrisons car park is often populated with chavs sitting in their put-puts with nothing better to do than slurpe on a brain heamerrage beverage from Maccy D’s. And when they’re finished… where better to put your rubbish than neatly dropped out of your lowered car window!

Now the clubs!!! You can grab a granny at The Pepper Lounge or if you’re feeling lavish pop along to Time where it costs a fiver for an absolute ****e night out! Music’s ****, dance floor tiny and the women that frequent the place… I wouldn’t touch them with my pet gorilla’s meat! The pinnacle of nights out in Scunthorpe has to be Club 2000!!! If you want a fight, go there! If you want to see good looking birds watch the porn channels on sky!

Now there is a lesser known chavinn called Cre8.. £2 a pint/double/bottle/etc. after 10pm on a Friday and saturday and the place is swarming with chavs too tight to pay for Time or Club 2000.. The dancefloor is often littered with chavettes trying to shake their asses to songs such as Basketcase. Don’t get me wrong Cre8’s great for music!! Just too many chavs.

Perhaps it’s me but chavs cannot fathom when they’ve had enough to drink and cannot manage another pint. Speaking of drinking! Whats with chavettes and straws in bottles?? Ladies(???), if you wanna drink out of a bottle then do. Don’t use a ******* straw to do it!

The steelworks polluted air is often broken by chavs playing their ber ber ber music out of £10 speakers in the back of their £50 novas/corsas/escorts.

Their are two things good for scunthorpe:

1. Scunny utd were beating chelsea after 8 minutes.
2. It takes about 5 minutes from the town centre to get out of the dump and go to a better place!”

the dump – thats Scunthorpe all right

Well always knew my Town was Chav central, Funny to read though as half the clubs it mentions have been closed and Croydons nightlife is dying on it ass a bit.
I guees a lot of chav’s just don’t get so much pocket money now because the weekends are quieter here.