Axis of What?

Some geopolitical silliness, in the true Douglas Adams style, that might get a chuckle from some of you lads. Certainly made me laugh!

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“In Speech, Bush Calls Iraq, Iran and North Korea ‘Axis of
Evil” — N.Y. Times, 1/30/02

ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA
SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL
Cuba, Sudan, Serbia Form Axis of Somewhat Evil; Other
Nations Start Own Clubs

Beijing (SatireWire.com) ? Bitter after being snubbed for
membership in the “Axis of Evil,” Libya, China, and Syria
today announced they had formed the “Axis of Just as
Evil,” which they said would be way eviler than that
stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of
his State of the Union address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the
new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name.
“Right. They are Just as Evil… in their dreams!”
declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. “Everybody knows
we’re the best evils… best at being evil… we’re the
best.”

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being
excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they
could join the Axis of Evil.

“They told us it was full,” said Syrian President Bashar
al-Assad.

“An Axis can’t have more than three countries,” explained
Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. “This is not my rule, it’s
tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and
Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three. And a
secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool.”

THE AXIS PANDEMIC

International reaction to Bush’s Axis of Evil declaration
was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.

Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain
triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical
chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the
Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda
and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while
Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of Not
So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable.

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable
clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda
applied to be called the Axis of Countries That Aren’t the
Worst But Certainly Won’t Be Asked to Host the Olympics;
Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations
That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty
Thoughts About America, while Spain, Scotland, and New
Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Sometimes
Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick.

“That’s not a threat, really, just something we like to
do,” said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack
McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren’t
perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted
approval for most axes, although he rejected the
establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in
“Guay,” accusing one of its members of filing a false
application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and
Chadguay denied the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn’t want to join any
Axis, but privately, world leaders said that’s only
because no one asked them.

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Regards,
Steve