Hellaids and Helliers – please do not read!
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman
met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect
wedding.
Their life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple
was driving their perfect car along a winding road,
when they noticed someone at the side of the road in
distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to
help.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys.
Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of
Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his
toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along
delivering the toys.
Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and
the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident.
Only one of them survived the accident.
Question: Who was the survivor?
(Scroll down for the answer. Trust me, it’s worth
it)
Answer: The perfect woman survived. She’s the only one
who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows
there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as
a perfect man.
**** Women stop reading here, that is the end of the
joke. Men keep scrolling.
So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the
woman must have been driving. This explains why there
was a car accident.
Men Keep scrolling
By the way, if you’re a woman and you’re still
reading, this illustrates another point: Women never
listen.
Flood.
By: Flood - 21st December 2003 at 19:59
Originally posted by HURRICANE 477
by the way why does mark9 keep on about Anna?
Hmm… A difficult one that I might have to think about!
🙂
🙁
😮
😀
😉
:p
😎
:rolleyes:
😡
😮
:confused:
Ok. Now you go by the user ID of Hurricane 477.
Anna goes by the user ID of Mark9.
What is your real name?;)
Flood.
By: HURRICANE 477 - 21st December 2003 at 19:24
funny !
by the way why does mark9 keep on about Anna?
By: Flood - 21st December 2003 at 14:40
A few more cards…
Christmas Carols
Christmas Bells
Christmas Presents
Flood.
By: SOC - 18th December 2003 at 19:43
I jsut read the first one, and that was damn funny 😀
By: Flood - 18th December 2003 at 19:33
Got sent this…
A Christmas Card, just for you’s!
Enjoy!
Flood.
By: Mark9 - 13th December 2003 at 06:40
Hello 😀 😀 Very good Anna;)
By: Flood - 13th December 2003 at 01:14
Doesn’t mean he spoke the Queens English.
Flood.
By: Snapper - 13th December 2003 at 01:02
So did Harold. And he was king.
By: Flood - 13th December 2003 at 01:00
Its got a Hellaid id! Ok he was slightly more articulate than usual but his name still begins with ‘H’…
Flood.
By: Snapper - 13th December 2003 at 00:43
That wasn’t a hellaid or Hellier. They can’t read unless its in text-speak.
By: Flood - 12th December 2003 at 23:41
Hey! I specifically stated NO HELLAIDS OR HELLIERS!
Thats Christmas spoiled for him now!:mad: 😡 😡
Flood.
By: Snapper - 12th December 2003 at 21:49
Superb answer. I was being facetious though. I actually only found it mildly amusing.
By: Hellaid 2 - 12th December 2003 at 21:22
you sure? You wanna fight about it (takes relaxent pill) huh what i say? we might just find it as funny as each other and we will never find out
By: Snapper - 12th December 2003 at 21:10
ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho then. I find it funnier than you do.
By: Hellaid 2 - 12th December 2003 at 21:05
two really quite funny festive jokes so my answer is HO HO HO HO HO
By: Snapper - 12th December 2003 at 20:17
Ho Ho Ho.
By: Flood - 12th December 2003 at 19:25
One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere.
Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce
the toys as fast as the regular ones, so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then, Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mother was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth, and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress. Then, when he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked,and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
So frustrated, Santa went into the house for a mug of cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink.
In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it
broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
Just then, the doorbell rang, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, “Merry Christmas,Santa. Isn’t it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where do you want me to stick it?”
Thus, began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Flood.
By: Snapper - 12th December 2003 at 10:10
Ho Ho Ho.
By: mike currill - 12th December 2003 at 07:57
I like that one Flood. Another little gem for me to have a chuckle over as I nod off.
By: steve rowell - 12th December 2003 at 04:03
That’s very good, i think you might get a few not so nice replies from some of the women who read this thread
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December 12, 2003 at 12:30 am