Dealing with an addict

How would I help someone with an addiction?

1) Look at WHY they have an addiction. Say for example I have a friend who is an alcoholic. I would try and help them get to the bottom of why they drink so much.

E.g…

– Did they lose their job? – Are they in financial trouble consequently and drinking to avoid reality?
– Are they being bullied at work/school? Does drinking alleviate the pain temporarily?
– Have they lost a family member or friend in recent times/Have they been through a relationship breakdown/Have they suffered some form of loss – Have they/did they had/have counselling? Have they allowed themselves to grieve properly? Have they tried to draw a line under the past? For want of a better phrase, have they “dealt” with what happened?

2) Do what I could to help them.

Of course, the big thing about addiction is – the above is only really an option if the person with the addiction wants to break this addiction. It is no good telling someone with an addiction “right, you’re an addict, you’ve got to deal with it” – they have to a) realise they have an addiction, and b) want to do something about it themselves.

If you are faced with someone who has an addiction of some kind, but refuses to admit it, I have to confess I am not sure how to handle that one…

GoodTime Girl,

You’ve made the first step by talking about it on this forum.

I think kev35 has posted some very wise words, especially in post number 14 in this thread.
You could always search on the internet aswell.

Maybe showing your friend this thread might tweak their conscience? (If anyone thinks that is not a good idea – please speak up!)

I do wish you well.

I can’t add any other wyas forward Goodtime Girl but I do wish you well in your ambition to help this third person and can find a solution to this blight which obviously hurting you so much.
Gary

GoodTime Girl.

Sorry for the delay in responding to your last post.

Without revealing the nature of the addiction, it might be possible for you to find out if the addiction or behaviour is criminal by contacting one of the addiction support agencies. I’m sure there will be one in your area.

You say the addiction is harmful. Is that to the addict or to other members of society? Or as I suspect, a little of both?

The fact that this addiction has lasted for 18 months is indicative of the fact that, despite what some people say to the contrary, your friend has been in need of help for some considerable time. The longer the addiction continues, the stronger the reinforcement the addict feels that their behaviour is nothing out of the ordinary.

If it’s an addiction based on consumption, are the quantities consumed/used increasing?

Or does the addiction manifest itself in the form of some compulsive or obsessive behaviour?

I’m sure members of this forum all have their hearts in the right place and would like to help you as much as possible. However, I think it only fair to point out that your friend would almost certainly benefit from professional help. If you would care to pm me I might be able to point you in the direction of the agency most appropriate for helping your friend. I should also point out that you may well need some help and support yourself after dealing with your friend’s addiction for so long.

Regards,

kev35

I find Freddie Starr funny, is that an addiction.

I am allowed an opinion, my view is that Goodtime Girls friend, relative or whatever can help their self, that addiction is a state of mind that can be overcome by will power and without the need for therapy or councelling by a reject from the hug a tree brigade.

Ian.

I don’t believe it’s very helpful or indeed funny to be ridiculing what is obviously a very sensitive topic which it has obviously took some courage to raise.

To be perfectly honest I feel you are about as funny as Freddie Starr!

Regards,

kev35

for instance, coprophagia, is far less likely to seek help due to the very nature of the addiction wouldn’t you agree? Regards, kev35

In some people that’s not so much an addiction as part of their job, for some others the reverse is true.

I guess you found giving up the rubber catsuits quite easy then, EN830? I think you’re over-simplifying things.

Never been in to rubber, I would look like a large rubber ball dressed up in rubber.

I would agree with Monty’s Double that in an ideal world that is the most obvious, compassionate and sensible route to take.

However, if the addiction is seriously impacting upon someone else’s life, intervention becomes necessary, not only for the protection of the addict but for that of the wider society.

Some drug and alcohol addicts are able to help themselves, or see the need to seek help. However, someone suffering from, for instance, coprophagia, is far less likely to seek help due to the very nature of the addiction wouldn’t you agree?

Regards,

kev35

How long has the addiction lasted?

How does the addictive behaviour manifest itself?

By its nature, any addiction is harmful. Is this person’s addiction directly or indirectly harming anyone else?

Is there criminality involved?

What are the social circumstances surrounding the addict?

Has the person involved sought help?

How are you coping with your involvement with this person?

The addiction has been there for about 18 months.
It does harm others and I think it is criminal which is why I am omitting detail.
The addict does not believe it is an addiction.
I am struggling to cope which is why I am hoping someone can help.

Addiction is only in the mind of the weak willed, anyone can break an addiction give the chance, without the need for therapy, psycho- analysis, or social workers.

From a medical, social and psychological standpoint it is difficult to answer your query in any detail without knowing the nature of the addiction.

I understand that it is almost certainly very painful to talk about.

A social addiction is treated much differently than an anti-social one. There are many questions to be answered. Examples would be…

How long has the addiction lasted?

How does the addictive behaviour manifest itself?

By its nature, any addiction is harmful. Is this person’s addiction directly or indirectly harming anyone else?

Is there criminality involved?

What are the social circumstances surrounding the addict?

Has the person involved sought help?

How are you coping with your involvement with this person?

It is rare that an addict becomes addicted through personal choice. It is almost certainly necessary to discover, examine and understand the factors which predisposed this person to their addiction before any real practical help can be given to the addict. The most important point is that they themsef must want to give up the addiction.

Regards,

kev35

I’d rather not but it is seriously impacting on my life.