Father Ted

The one where Ted visits a preist and finds he is a Nazi sympathiser surrounded by a massive collection of Nazi memorabelia. He even harbours an ex SS officer 🙂 🙂 🙂

Or the one where Father Jack is afflicted by a desease which causes excesssive hairyness so has to go into a home until he’s cured. Jacks place is taken temorairily by father Finton Stack (great name) who makes Ted and Dougals lives hell. This episode includes the scene where two other visiting preists are watching some kids playing football

” What are we watching?” Priest buddy1: “were lookin at the sports day” Finton Stack: “lots of young fellas runnin around in shorts, thats kind of thing you like lookin at” Father Finton Stack with a sly twinkle in the eye turns to another priest “and Ill bet you like that to, only your probably imagining what they’ed look like without shorts. your sitting there imagining that with a big smile on your face, Ya Dirty Fecker”. The best.

we have all forgot the episode when Ted was accused of being a racsist. brilliant…. 😀

So many brilliant scenes.

The one where Ted & Dougal sneak into the retired priest’s home at night to bring Father Jack back, and when they switch the light on there’s a whole room full of them sitting in armchairs who start shouting “Drink! Feck! @rse! Girls!”

The episode where Ted has to kick the Archbishop up the backside.

The episode where Mrs Doyle wins a visit from the boy singer (“I have no willy”) and the house is laid siege by all the old ladies.

Classic stuff.

Dougal: Ted! Did Len find the rabbits?

Bishop Brennan: What did he say? Did he call me Len again? YOU ADDRESS ME BY MY PROPER TITLE, YOU LITTLE B*LL*CKS!

😀

“Who do you like better… Oasis or Bluuuuuuuuurrr ???” 😀

A ton of Father Ted soundbites to be found HERE

Anyone know what aircrafts landing gear he’s attatched to in the epsiode where he saves the flight with only 2 parachutes ( used by Father Jack and the drinks trolley!)

You could probably ask the scenic department at Hat Trick productions that one ? 😀

Ted: Fascists are men dressed in black that go around telling people what to do !”

Dougal: Ah right Ted, nothing like priests at all then ?”

Anyone know what aircrafts landing gear he’s attatched to in the epsiode where he saves the flight with only 2 parachutes ( used by Father Jack and the drinks trolley!)

“Attention please, a child has been lost in the tunnel of goats.”

Ted: Dougal, do you know if we have any incense?

Dougal: Huh ?

Ted: Incense Dougal… do we have any ?

Dougal: Well, there was that big spider in the bath last week

Mrs Doyle: Are you looking forward to your lunch tomorrow, Father?
Ted: Hmmm? I suppose so.
Mrs Doyle: You do like pheasant, don’t you Father?
Ted: Pheasant? I love pheasant.
Mrs Doyle: Well there’s a little clue. The thing you’ll be eating likes pheasant as well.

Ted: “C’mon Dougal bedtime, you can’t stay up all night watching television… chewing gum for the eyes..”

Dougal: “Ah no thanks Ted.”

Dougal: Can I stay up tonight to watch the scary film?
Ted: Ah, no no no. The last time you stayed up to watch a scary film you ended up having to sleep in my bed. I wouldn’t mind, but it wasn’t even a scary film.
Dougal: Come on, Ted. A Volkswagen with a mind of its own. If that isn’t scary, I don’t know what is.

😀

Pat Mustard: I’m a very careful man, Father.
Ted: Except when it comes to taking precautions in the bedroom!
Pat: You’re not advocating the use of artificial contraception now, are you?
Ted: Well, ye……well, no…well, naturally…..well, not really….well, of course you’d…………JUST FECK OFF!

Father Dougal: Hello Len.
Bishop Brennan: Don’t call me Len, you little prick. I’m a bishop!
Father Dougal: Oh right. Well done.

😀

The one where Richard “One foot in the Grave (another classic)” Wilson guest starred was great too. All together noW “I DON’T BEELEEEEEEIVE IT!!!!!”

My lovely horse, running through the field
Where are you going with your fetlocks blowing in the wind?
I want to shower you with sugar lumps
And ride you over fences…
Polish your hooves almost every day
And take you to the horse dentist…

“WE HAVE TO LOSE THAT FECKIN SAX SOLO!”

Oh excellent, a mod being caught out by the automatic censor system type thingy…

Ball bags…

Feck, ****, girls.

*Falls off chair muttering something about the proximity of cows*