Being not long returned from a visit to the Far East inspecting structural concrete panels, I was moved by the Beachy Head incident described on these pages to sit and ponder the above title.
My wife and I were ar ease in the sitting room of Rangoon Towers, our home on the south coast. The open fire hissed and crackled, I was snug in my fireside chair, dressed very simply in a heavy knit, beige cardigan, knitted by my beloved and the latest in what is known as Nordic, fur lined slippers. Outside, the wind lashed the rain into a horizontal torrent.
My wife was knitting and lulled by the soft ‘click-click’ of the No. 10 pattern knitting needles, my grasp on the current edition of the Socialist Weekly gradually slipped as I eased into a gentle but light slumber. In a trice, I was awake, awakened into full consciousness by the realisation of the peril into which the seemingly innocent hobby of knitting had placed my wife.
“Stop” I roared. Mt wife took fright and tipped back in her chair, her legs inelegantly flying towards the ceiling. Fortunately the chair she was in was a semi recliner bought from Age Concern as a reject from someone who found themselves semi reclined and unable to extract themselves with dignity.
With raised voice, I exclaimed: “Don’t you know that knitting is extremely dangerous? One slip and a needle could put out your eye or pierce an artery and then where would we be?”
She fixed me with a look that she saves for very special occasions. ” I hadn’t realised dearest, what should I do?”
I replied that we should follow the best advice to be gained from the Beachy Head contributors. In future before she knits she should notify the RNLI, they may well have advice that could save her life – and perhaps that of the grandchildren – put on a high visability vest, a hard hat and steel toe capped boots all of which, happily, I can supply from my kit brought back from the Far East.
She smiled a smile that told me that she was more than pleased with my bespoke advice. I must pay tribute, to the many Health and Safety experts resident in the Forum without whom, her lifetime hobby of knitting would simply be too ‘knife edge’ dangerous with the ever present threat of injury or death.
She wishes to thank you all for your concerns.
By: charliehunt - 14th March 2014 at 21:23
Amusement at the apparent idiocies of H&S is good sport but of course it has grown up directly as a result of the ever growing litigenous society we now live in.
If the morons who take legal action had their cases thrown out of court litigation would dry up, people would take responsibility for their actions again and the necessity for H&S as a surrogate would be hugely reduced.
By: Lincoln 7 - 14th March 2014 at 20:32
I don’t suppose anyone asked her if the NOS, was for her car?…….:highly_amused:
Jim.
Lincoln .7
By: John Green - 14th March 2014 at 17:53
I’m all tied up to-day, or so the dominatrix might have said. A woman who runs a dominatrix service on an industrial estate, tying blokes up and giving them a good whipping – all in good taste -was fined rather large sums of money for breaches of Health & Safety laws.
When questioned by H & S inspectors the Madam said that she had no idea that she was responsible for customers Health & Safety. She had lots of cylinders of nitrous oxide (laughing gas) lying around so perhaps the thinking was, that if there was an outbreak of fire, her customers tho’ tied and shackled would at least die happy and cheerful.
She was fined £5000 plus £3000 costs. That’s a lot of spanking – so I’m told. I have no first hand experience, he said hurriedly.
There really is no hiding place from the baleful influence of H & S. Or, should that be S & M.
By: John Green - 14th March 2014 at 17:42
I’m exceedingly pleased that most, if not all of you, were not anywhere near Snow Hill railway station, Birmingham, yesterday, Thursday.
Between Snow Hill and New St stations, about half a mile apart, a taxi bearing train conductors, a routine journey for the train operators; London Midland, broke down and company policy allegedly dictated by Health & Safety concerns meant that the conductors could not complete the normally fifteen minute journey on foot.
As there were no other means by which the conductors could complete their short trip, commuters were told that two services were cancelled and chaos followed.
By: charliehunt - 13th March 2014 at 22:44
Unarguable!!
By: John Green - 13th March 2014 at 21:23
Charlie,
Unimpeachable source : D. Tel. Thurs. 13th March.
By: charliehunt - 13th March 2014 at 19:07
It is just this sort of story, if true, of course, which epitomises so much of 21st century British society. But I do wonder if the story is to found in the pages of the Daily Heil or some similar rag.
Perish the thought that we should distinguish between male and female heads of schools or those who head committees, for that matter – the Chair!!
By: John Green - 13th March 2014 at 18:10
More from the cult of ‘Elf & Safety.
It is reported that a young schoolboy has just been suspended from school by Tracy Thornton, Headteacher (why is it always Tracy and why Headteacher and never Headmistress unless it is a private school?) for wearing a Help The Heroes wristband.
Mrs. Thornton is reported as saying that the wearing of a wristband and other ornamentation is contrary to Health & Safety legislation.
It is said that, originally, another teacher said the boy couldn’t wear the wristband because the wearing of it could cause offence. The mother of the boy inferred that this meant offence to Muslims.
By: Lincoln 7 - 13th March 2014 at 12:17
I think it goes without saying John, Just another jobsworthy job anyway.
Jim.
Lincoln .7
By: John Green - 13th March 2014 at 10:47
Meanwhile, not a word of gratitude from the Health & Safety freaks for promoting their freakery.
By: Lincoln 7 - 13th March 2014 at 09:01
Iv’e Herd that before Chas…………….:D
Jim.
Lincoln .7
By: charliehunt - 13th March 2014 at 08:49
You certainly don’t want to be given the runaround by any old SHEEPDOG!!
By: Lincoln 7 - 13th March 2014 at 08:37
Hairdressing as well, from what I’ve read!!;)
It’s just the Female side of me coming out Chas. I don’t follow the Flock, as you may well have noticed, I can’t stand being Penned in……………:D…Better Hoof it, for now.
Jim.
Lincoln .7
By: Lincoln 7 - 13th March 2014 at 08:33
These I take it are knitting terms Lincoln as I do not know, one must say though, you appear to be very knowledgeable about them…. :highly_amused:
Don’t be a Knit Tony, You can’t pull the Wool over my eyes…………:D
Jim.
Lincoln .7
By: charliehunt - 13th March 2014 at 05:37
Hairdressing as well, from what I’ve read!!;)
By: TonyT - 13th March 2014 at 02:09
These I take it are knitting terms Lincoln as I do not know, one must say though, you appear to be very knowledgeable about them…. :highly_amused:
By: Lincoln 7 - 12th March 2014 at 23:42
That’s a bit of a Yarn John, I thought it was a Pearl of a story, and not a single stitch dropped throughout,A bit wooly in places, but at least I didn’t get the Needle,So what’s the next Pattern your going to Spin?.Did Mrs G feel a bit Sheepish as she toppled backwards?……..:highly_amused:
Jim.
Lincoln .7
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March 12, 2014 at 5:55 pm