Hi guys,
I was in a relationship three and a half years ago with a woman that I thought at the time to be “the one”. Turns out she wasn’t. After six months of being together in a serious relationship I woke up one morning with her sat next to me on the bed telling me she cheated. “OK, least she’s honest” I thought and let it go. She was upset about having done this and seemed genuinely sorry for her actions. Despite my best efforts, she became increasingly more and more distant. This was the turning point of our relationship and six months later things had gone from great to horrible and we ended it on rather bad terms…I still have the scar on my thumb to remind me of how bad the break up went but won’t go into that (no I didn’t hit her).
After a while of not talking we ended up talking on a general basis…almost like friends who bear each others presence if you get my meaning…
I thought “ok, I can now find out what I did that was so wrong that made her cheat in the first place and why we at best pretended to be in a relationship without talking the problems through”…she wanted none of it. She deflected the questions, ignored texts and acted like we had never been together in the first place. That off course broke my heart and caused further rifts between us.
She is no longer part of my life, and I have I am glad to say moved on. I am in a solid two year relationship with a woman I love in a new city with a great life. But something keeps bugging me. Why did my ex cheat?
I guess I am worried that it was my fault somehow, rather than my friends opinion of ‘she was a cheating b****, don’t worry about it’.
Rather than thinking you will know the answers, I would like to ask (if by chance something like this has happened to you) if you still ask yourself this type of question despite having moved on.
By: EGTC - 18th June 2011 at 16:02
When I met her, she was in an unhappy relationship with a rather controlling boyfriend…the old “I decide who your friends are” type. I didn’t get with her for a while once she ended it with him, however I do believe I was a big part of that decision.
She probably latched on to you, although you may not of realised it. You was probably great emotional support for her and she built a bond with you, unfortunately it wasnt good enough from her side to really form as strong a relationship that you thought you had. Thats not your fault though, thats hers. She obviously didn’t work hard enough within the relationship and just opted for the grass is greener theory (which is total rubbish by the way)
On the up side you have met your new partner and it sounds like you two are happy and well bonded together. Karma works in mysterious ways, they say.
By: Wyvernfan - 18th June 2011 at 15:20
Judging by the pic of yourself that you posted a few weeks back trolleydolly i thought YOU were a woman like that :).
By: trolleydolly - 18th June 2011 at 14:39
Very true Dr. Stangelove…my ex ran off with a woman like that…then she ran off with a woman like that !!!…Ha !!!that`s `Karma` for you !!!!!
By: trolleydolly - 18th June 2011 at 14:37
Yes,Ha Ha Spitfireman, My book would be entitled` Single is Happiness`
By: spitfireman - 18th June 2011 at 14:20
Things however bad at the time,always work out for the best in my book..Karma…you were too good for her.
You’ve written a book!:eek:
Now I’m impressed:)
ISBN Number? I’ll buy it.
Baz
By: Lincoln 7 - 18th June 2011 at 13:15
Must be something wrong with my marriage, been married just over 45 yrs.
Suppose most go wrong, A) because they think the grass is greener on the other side, until it comes to mowing it.
B), Because some males and femails let their bottom halves rule their top half.
You have to work on a marriage, give and take, and talk problems through together.Seems those days have gone now, along with trust.and Loyalty.
Jim.
Lincoln .7.
By: BSG-75 - 18th June 2011 at 12:46
and that from the good Doctor, is the ONLY piece of relationship advice any man should ever need.:rolleyes::cool::D
By: Dr Strangelove - 18th June 2011 at 10:15
Another chapter from the Dr Strangelove Guide To Love & Relationships© –
😉
By: tornado64 - 18th June 2011 at 09:49
When I met her, she was in an unhappy relationship with a rather controlling boyfriend…the old “I decide who your friends are” type. I didn’t get with her for a while once she ended it with him, however I do believe I was a big part of that decision.
ever slow down to think that the new chap she met is the next gullible mug thats been given the above spiel !! except this time you were that type of man !!
with her type it’s the same old same old
By: DrPepper - 18th June 2011 at 01:56
I see two possibilities…
1, You’re lacking in the trouser dept.
2, She’s a slag.
hth.
Since my current partner is more than happr I would say option no. 2 lol. Plus the fact that she split with me in the same manner that she split with her previous chap, did the old “I need to be by myself” routine only to be with someone else less than a week later lol. I suspect that this new partner was seeing her long before we split. 🙁
When I met her, she was in an unhappy relationship with a rather controlling boyfriend…the old “I decide who your friends are” type. I didn’t get with her for a while once she ended it with him, however I do believe I was a big part of that decision.
By: trolleydolly - 17th June 2011 at 18:34
Ha,ever thought of being a marriage guidance councillor ZRX? LOL.
By: ZRX61 - 17th June 2011 at 18:28
I see two possibilities…
1, You’re lacking in the trouser dept.
2, She’s a slag.
hth.
By: trolleydolly - 17th June 2011 at 18:23
Obviously she wasn`t happy,but I wouldn`t blame yourself for it,you`d just grown apart and if she really loved you,she wouldn`t have done it in the first place.Would you really have been happy,truly,if you`d had patched things up after she was unfaithful to you? I my experience a true loving relationship is like a cut crystal wine glass,once is is cracked(the trust gone) it will never have that true `ring` again.Things however bad at the time,always work out for the best in my book..Karma…you were too good for her.
By: BumbleBee - 17th June 2011 at 18:05
Looks to me like she’s doing the washing-up,helping the kids with their homework,working out the shopping list,dreaming that she married Brad Pitt and telling her husband which drawer his socks are kept in and to remember to phone his mother :p
By: DrPepper - 17th June 2011 at 00:48
A squirrel’s what …. ?
Is it just me or does that squirrel look like he’s taking a leak up against that tree? 😀
By: Lincoln 7 - 16th June 2011 at 23:39
Hi Anne, NUTS of course;)
Jim.
Lincoln .7
By: BumbleBee - 16th June 2011 at 23:04
The government scientist Dr Yamuka has proved women’s brains are the same size as a squirrels…
A squirrel’s what …. ?
By: Lincoln 7 - 16th June 2011 at 22:30
Just watch your NUTS Al 😉
Jim.
Lincoln .7
By: Al - 16th June 2011 at 22:27
Even they don’t know why they do things. The government scientist Dr Yamuka has proved women’s brains are the same size as a squirrels…
By: spitfireman - 16th June 2011 at 21:55
Pretty sure the forums Dr Stranglelove will have some angle on this.:D
Told you:D:D
……& doing what again Baz?
…getting in quick!!:D
Baz
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June 16, 2011 at 4:21 am