kev35's trip report. (Not for the faint hearted)

I visited my local ASDA on wednesday. Wasn’t feeling too bad so elected for the crutches rather than the chariot (1st Mistake.)

Well, it all went swimmingly past the bread, fresh produce, soft drinks and confectionery, but then it all started to go wrong. I was in the aisle with the bleach and the toilet cleaner when SuperGran, personalised trolley with go faster stripes and a pull along trolley trailing behind her hurtled, and I mean HURTLED round the corner from pet foods. It was a classic ambush really. She feinted left, feinted right then went left with a deftness of touch rarely equalled by George Best. I can’t dodge as quick as she could weave and she caught my left crutch with the ASDA trolley (piled high with two tins of beans, an economy soup and half the contents of the ‘past it’s sell by date’ shelf.)

The next two seconds lasted half an hour as my left leg, without the extra support, collapsed and I crumpled to the floor. All through the fall I distinctly heard SuperGran muttering “I do wish people wouldn’t get in the way.” It was all to no avail. The trolley Police were called but she’d gone, the incident logged as a hit and run. I was charged with not having appropriate control of state owned walking aids. I presume there’ll be a fine. No real injuries, fortunately I can’t feel my legs and feet very well. I have a couple of bruises, my knee and my ego, and a significant dent to my pride.

Next week’s report will be from Morrison’s or Sainsbury’s. Did think about Tesco but I wouldn’t feel safe without a minder.

Regards,

kev35