Masters Of The Air – A Bit Of Forum Fun

No intention to diss the mini-series before it’s even made, let’s all hope it turns out well.

But I thought I’d start a thread for all the 8th AF movie cliches, then when the series comes we can see how many turn up and how many are avoided.

Some I guess are inevitable – hence I’ll start the ball rolling with

1) Overpaid, oversexed, over here
2) Norden and pickle barrel in the same sentence
3) Religious crew member
4) Young, inexperienced-with-women crew member
5) Overloaded jeep (All ten crew on one jeep?)
6) Argument / fight at the pub with locals (See also #1)
7) Nylons for local girl’s mum and Hershey bar for her siblings)
8) One crew member losing nerve but coming through it to heroism
9) Uncanny absence of anyone other than the US fighting the Germans / ‘Krauts’
9.5) An attractive British woman whose husband / brother was killed at Dunkirk, Singapore, Dieppe, Tobruk, anywhere that the British / Commonwealth were defeated but the United States was not involved
10) Veteran peering over the fence of the overgrown post-war airfield, ideally whilst holding artefact (They wouldn’t dare, would they?)
11) Dog / puppy
12) Carer of dog/puppy not making it. Dog looks sad
13) P51 – Cadillac of the skies! (naaa – Spielberg’s done that once)
14) The only escort fighter ever seen will be P51
15) Retort to #1 Underpaid, undersexed and under Eisenhower
16) See # 9 A senior American Officer will be boffing her by Episode 3
17) B24 doesn’t exist
18) Middle-aged, distinguished looking RAF Liaison Officer wearing faded pilot’s wings. He “did his bit in the first lot”. May well have a wooden leg.
19) Local girl ends up in the club
20) Crew member gets ‘Dear John’ letter from home and goes missing on next mission
21) Jewish crew member who gets shot down over Germany
22) Shots of the waist gunners standing on unfeasibly huge piles of empty shell cases as more spew from their guns
23) Multiple references to the ‘Flying Tigers’ or the ‘Eagle Squadron
24) Complaints about warm beer
25) Mess orderly looks wistfully at baseball bat and glove when owner fails to return
26) Jeep driving on wrong side of road.
27) #26 forces attractive local female driver into a ditch. She then joins ‘yanks’ for a drink at the local
28) Every senior officer seems to spend all his time on the control tower balcony
28.5) Final scene – hundreds of men and every vehicle on the airfield race towards a single shot up B-17. This is usually photographed from the top of a very tall crane and involves a lot of camera zooming
29) Crew member leaves behind his lucky-charm…..and then is shot-down / killed.
30) Worried senior officers crowded on watch tower balcony awaiting the squadron/wing’s return.
31) Same scene – Ground crew play baseball
32) All aircraft return except one …. as last person is about to give up waiting and leave the balcony lo and behold he/she hears a faint noise
33) Following on from above A speck on the horizon as the damaged B17 limps in trailing smoke to a near deadstick landing – lots of shots of pilots manhandling control wheel as if he’s driving a rally car
34) Following on from above Onee u/c leg collapses leaving the aircraft to slide/skid along the ground for about five miles amidst clouds of dust before finally coming to a complete standstill.
35) Off-duty crews will watch a cricket match on a well kept village green with nicely steepled church in background whilst commenting how it’s not as good as watching a “ball” game
36) Crews will take pity on the ragamuffin English kids who are matchstick thin, pasty and suffering from rationing; arranging a party where the kids will be plied with “Candy” and “gum”.
37) Glenn Miller’s “In the Mood” playing on the record player and/or over the airfield tannoy
38) One officer or crew who are one mission away from returning Stateside, will fail to survive their last trip
39) One crew member failing to make it after showing all the new crews a photo of wife/girlfriend/kid/puppy
40) Crew flicking every switch possible in utter panic after getting shot up and an engine stops or sets on fire
41) Shot up damaged aeroplane starts making diving/overspeed noises and shaking violently, even though its still in level flight (I think the violent shaking might be valid)
42) The crew aboard damaged Fort peering ahead to catch sight of the English coast as they lose height over the sea. And of course what they see, and barely clear, will be the White Cliffs of Dover
43) Same crew throwing out everything loose to maintain height.
44) Damaged plane lands safely, amidst much relief and back slapping. One of the crew will climb out and kiss the hardstanding/grass
45) (Refer back to #36) The popular, cheery Sergeant Air Gunner from the Bronx whose idea the kids party was goes west that very morning or next day
46) Crew chief will look at the damage, push back his cap, scratch his head and say “Geee, that’s gonna take some fixing….but we’ll have her ready for you tomorrow Cap’n….”
47) Rookie replacement crew shunned by the bitter old hands – Later explained to them why
48) Crew members playing craps / poker / dice as an officer walks in to the hut/room
49) Crew room banter turning ugly as a streetwise New York American-Italian offends a good ol’ boy from the Praires (or vice versa)
50) A heavily laden B17 barely managing to take off from the runway, lots of angst in the cockpit, shots of straining engines, anxious glances between senior officers on the tower roof/balcony.
51) B17s escorted by the ever faithful Harvards and constantly attacked by French build Me108s and Pilatus P-2s
52) Heroically wounded pilot tells everyone to jump over the airfield then elects to bring aircraft in on his own
53) Alternative outcome for #52 A Cloud of smoke on other side of airfield with fire engines and ambulances heading there
54) Alternative outcome for #52 B Pilot lands plane on one engine and one undercarriage leg, finally dropping plane onto opposite wing at end of runway
55) Alternative outcome for #52 C Tail gunner frightened to jump so assists pilot to complete perfect three point landing
56) Any aircraft seen being shot down must descend to the sound of squadron of Stuka dive bombers with their sirens going
57) Ball turret gunner stuck in the turret and the wheels will not come down, putting the pilot in an impossible situation.
58) CGI 109s fly at warp speed 6 between and through hangars during the obligatory hit and run raid
59) Glenn Miller’s Moonlight Serenade playing the during the love scene where he might not make it back from the next mission. (if he does and she’ll rush across the airfield to greet him)
60) There’s always an ‘Irish’ crew member with ginger hair, one who is a bit of a renegade, likes to fight, Occasionally a home made still producing some ‘refreshment’ liquid
61) Initial distrust and hostility from the comedy local yokels eventually turning to admiration, respect as they decide that the Yanks, are in fact, a jolly decent bunch
62) Locals will have all-purpose Mummersetshire accents, based closer to Dorset than East Anglia
63) Female character, possibly an American in the ATA who gets some character over his fear of X, and/or who sneaks along on an operation and shoots down a fighter