By: TonyT - 4th May 2012 at 19:20
General inspecting troops on machine gun range, gets to first new recruit and says you a hoard of enemy charging your position and you have a stoppage…. what do you do, recruit says belt off clear stoppage belt on and carry on… Good says General and goes down line asking all and receiving the same response, eventually he comes to a Vietnam vet and asks again… Belt off… Pack off and feck off comes the response. 😀
By: silver fox - 2nd May 2012 at 22:08
Advice from Sergeant to new recruits on gunnery range,
Remember when the enemy gets within range, so are you.
Added to notes for bomber crews.
It is not a good idea to bale out above the people you’ve just dropped bombs on.
From an ex RAF pilot’s reminiscing, young trainee pilot, first solo, supposed to just do circuit and land, decides to take a wider excursion for the joy of flying solo, gets lost, ground control are frantically trying to locate this guy and guide him back home, exchange between tower and pilot, “what was your last positive position” answer “when I was cleared for takeoff”.
Said pilot last seen piloting a wheelbarrow, sadly without wings.
By: pistonrob - 2nd May 2012 at 20:50
the Panzerfaust was an ass of an idea (sorry)
A26 bum bomber
nice touch with the sea type mine on the back of the cot
By: Creaking Door - 2nd May 2012 at 20:38
Trust me to completely miss the point ! I’m leaving quietly by the side door.
Not your fault…..it is camouflage after all! 😀
Not the first time I’ve seen this photograph and I didn’t spot it first time around. 😮
By: TonyT - 2nd May 2012 at 20:11
You forgot to add getting a young lad to put all the rulers on the section U/S requires calibration.
By: TonyT - 2nd May 2012 at 20:08
Raf Odiham, sign on ceiling in dental section where they put you under “w*nking makes you blind”
By: TonyT - 2nd May 2012 at 20:06
Bullnight St Athans training, Lino floored barrack, one guy carrying bumper block ( used to polish floor) drops it and tears a 1 inch v in Lino….. We are officially in the poo megga time, senior man thinks… Grabs the V and tears about 10 foot of lino up, quick tip over your beds and lockers…. Job done we all trapse to guardroom…. Please Sgt someone has wrecked our room…… Sh*t hits the fan, big inquiry other rooms deny all knowledge and no one owns up, other 3 rooms put on extra inspections and we are excused future inspections. :p
By: tornado64 - 2nd May 2012 at 20:05
go fetch some Tartan paint always worked
didn’t always go to plan , tartan was a british leyland red , i pi***d a mechanic off by taking back a can of dupli colour tartan red !!
By: TonyT - 2nd May 2012 at 19:59
Debriefing room freshly painted and to stop us leaning on the wall in our dirty overalls, notices had been put up “Do not lean against the wall” day after the Italian football disaster where one collapsed, notices found overnight to have been amended with “there might be a bunch of Italians behind it”
Early morning knock off after long night shift Chiefly rigger washing hands dips his hand into the swarfega can and scoops out a turd… Everyone collapses in a fit of hysteria…
VC 10 line, new rigger on shift, toilet caps on ten are just above head height, rush out to plane, open panel, open sluice valve, nice pile moves behind cap, close valve, close panel and wait…. 😀
One off pprune..
Out in desert GW1 lack of toilets so slit trench dug for urinal… Night and pitch black, someone breaks some chemsticks and put along edge of trench so you can see where to stand in dark…… Middle of night someone moves chemlights to other side of trench 😀
By: pistonrob - 2nd May 2012 at 19:17
IF THE PARACHUTE DOESN`T WORK, BRING IT BACK. is a fave also
By: pistonrob - 2nd May 2012 at 19:16
Not so much visual humour, more verbal wind-ups.
Many young, wet behind the ears airmen were told to carry out the following.
“Go to medical centre and collect a yard of fallopian tubing for an ejection seat”
“Phone this number and ask for Sgt Barker”. (the number being the Police Dog Section)
“Go to stores for a left-handed screwdriver”
“Go to stores and ask for a long weight (wait!!!!!)”
“Go to stores and collect item reference number 1D-10T”
I’m sure there were many more, but these are the one’s I remember best.
Regards, Cabbage
go fetch some Tartan paint always worked
By: John Green - 2nd May 2012 at 19:14
Re 10
Creaking Door
Trust me to completely miss the point ! I’m leaving quietly by the side door.
John Green
By: Dave Wilson - 2nd May 2012 at 19:12
🙂 Love that, manual gearbox, that’s going in the memory banks for next time I take a novice flying :diablo:
By: tornado64 - 2nd May 2012 at 18:34
brother to same recruit ( genuinely scared of flying ) ” of course these are the old ones with the manual gearbox , you have to hope the pilot gets second gear ok on take off otherwise it gets messy !! luckily i have never been on one but have seen it ,,,,, it’s the screams that keep you awake though !!! “
he then proceeded to settle for a sleep !!
By: tornado64 - 2nd May 2012 at 18:27
new young recruit sat on a herc next to my brother ready to depart to germany
recruit ” how often do these things crash ??”
brother ” just the once then they’re ****ed !!
By: Creaking Door - 2nd May 2012 at 16:31
A story I was told by the Co-Pilot of an RAF B-24 while training high over the Canadian Prairies:
The Bomb-Aimer comes up from the nose of the aircraft and passes between the Pilots; ‘I’m just going back for a pee’ he says as he heads aft. The Captain grins at the Co-Pilot (who is flying the aircraft) as he watches the Bomb-Aimer make his way aft. After a while, when the Bomb-Aimer is standing at the Elsan (chemical toilet), has undone all of his bulky flying clothing and is just starting to relieve himself…
…the Captain turns back to the Co-Pilot, grins again, and yells…..‘corkscrew, port, GO!’ :diablo:
[Thanks Dad…..that always makes me laugh!]
By: Creaking Door - 2nd May 2012 at 16:12
What you refer to as a clue is the title Marine on the side of a helicopter.
Have a careful look at the camouflage stripe to the left of ‘MARINES’ on the helicopter. 😉
I think that was the meaning of the original post about the ‘Marines artwork’. The photographs are from all over, AAC, US Marines, US Army, US Air Force…
By: John Green - 2nd May 2012 at 11:58
Re 7
Tangmere 1940
Don’t think so. The chaps to the left look as if they are dressed a la Army Air Corps. What I take to be a missile battery, is not normally part of Commando equipment – or wasn’t in my day.
What you refer to as a clue is the title Marine on the side of a helicopter. This is a device used by the American Marines – who are known to be sometimes confused – to know where they belong. And best of all Andy, is the United States Star insignia under the NE of Marines.
You might need a magnifying glass!
John Green
By: cabbage - 2nd May 2012 at 11:12
Not so much visual humour, more verbal wind-ups.
Many young, wet behind the ears airmen were told to carry out the following.
“Go to medical centre and collect a yard of fallopian tubing for an ejection seat”
“Phone this number and ask for Sgt Barker”. (the number being the Police Dog Section)
“Go to stores for a left-handed screwdriver”
“Go to stores and ask for a long weight (wait!!!!!)”
“Go to stores and collect item reference number 1D-10T”
I’m sure there were many more, but these are the one’s I remember best.
Regards, Cabbage
By: Arabella-Cox - 2nd May 2012 at 11:00
Picture 2 refers, I’d suggest?
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May 1, 2012 at 9:26 pm