News just in

Okay, it’s not REAL news, but I’ve just had this one come through, and you lot all seem like you’ve got a good sense of humour… 🙂

ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA AND SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL

Cuba, Sudan, Serbia Form Axis of Somewhat Evil;
Other Nations Start Own Clubs

Beijing (SatireWire.com) – Bitter after being snubbed
for membership in the “Axis of Evil,” Libya, China, and
Syria today announced they had formed the “Axis of Just
as Evil,” which they said would be way eviler
than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President
Bush warned of his State of the Union address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed
the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb
name. “Right. They are Just as Evil…in their dreams!”
declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. “Everybody
knows we’re the best evils…best at being evil… we’re
the best.”

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over
being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if
they could join the Axis of Evil. “They told us it was
full,” said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. “An Axis
can’t have more than three countries,” explained Iraqi
President Saddam Hussein. “This is not my rule, it’s
tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and
Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three. And
a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool.”

THE AXIS PANDEMIC

International reaction to Bush’s Axis of Evil
declaration was swift, as within minutes, France
surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations
rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a
game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia
said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing
Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of
Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia
established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just
Generally Disagreeable.

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the
desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El
Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of
Countries That Aren’t the Worst But Certainly Won’t Be
Asked to Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and
Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually
Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About
America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand
established the Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to Ask
Sheep to Wear Lipstick.

“That’s not a threat, really, just something we like
to do,” said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack
McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world
weren’t perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush
granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the
establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End
in “Guay,” accusing one of its members of filing a
false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and
Chadguay denied the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn’t want to join
any Axis, but privately, world leaders said that’s only
because no one asked them.