Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft.
In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments
to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the
survey questions is not required, but the information will help us
to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
1. [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt.
[_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_] Classified [_] Other
First Name: ………………………………………………
Initial: ……..
Last Name: ………………………………………………
Password: ………………………… (max 8 char)
Code Name: ………………………………………………
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ……….. ……….. ……….
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified
3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 19……. / ……. / …….
4. Serial Number: ………………………………………….
5. Please check where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalog showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified
6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas
product you have just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one
7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your
decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Style / appearance
[_] Speed / maneuverability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
[_] North America
[_] Central / South America
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Europe
[_] Middle East
[_] Africa
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Classified
9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to
purchase in the near future:
[_] Color TV
[_] VCR
[_] ICBM
[_] Killer Satellite
[_] CD Player
[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
[_] Space Shuttle
[_] Home Computer
[_] Nuclear Weapon
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
(Check all that apply:)
[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal check
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveler’s check
12. Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student
13. To help us understand our customers’ lifestyles, please
indicate the interests and activities in which you and your
spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
[_] Golf
[_] Boating / sailing
[_] Sabotage
[_] Running / jogging
[_] Propaganda / disinformation
[_] Destabilization / overthrow
[_] Default on loans
[_] Gardening
[_] Crafts
[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Wines
[_] Interrogation / torture
[_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Fashion clothing
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction
Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your
answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell
Douglas serve you better in the future – as well as allowing you to
receive mailings and special offers from other companies,
governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division
P.O. Box 800, St. Louis, MO
By: Glenn - 26th June 2002 at 10:31
RE: SCREW YOU, W!!!!
Great keyboard stuff!!
By: tomel - 26th June 2002 at 09:11
RE: SCREW YOU, W!!!!
I really liked the Boieng form.
By: GZYL - 25th June 2002 at 17:47
RE: SCREW YOU, W!!!!
That’s great!!! Keep ’em coming!!!!!
By: Geforce - 24th June 2002 at 17:38
SCREW YOU, W!!!!
[updated:LAST EDITED ON 24-06-02 AT 05:44 PM (GMT)]”The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.” ….George W. Bush, Jr.
“Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.” …Governor George W. Bush, Jr.
“Mars is essentially in the same orbit…Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe.” ….Governor George W. Bush, Jr., 8/11/94
“I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy – but that could change.” ….Governor George W. Bush, Jr., 5/22/98
“I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.” …Governor George W. Bush, Jr.
“We’re going to have the best educated American people in the world.” ….Governor George W. Bush, Jr., 9/21/97
“We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe.” ….Governor George W. Bush, Jr.
“Public speaking is very easy.” ….Governor George W. Bush, Jr. to reporters in 10/9
“I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican” ….Governor George W. Bush, Jr.
“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.” ….Governor George W. Bush, Jr.
“[It’s] time for the human race to enter the solar system.” ….Governor George W. Bush, Jr.
Attachments:
By: Geforce - 24th June 2002 at 17:36
some evidence
UNEQUIVOCAL EVIDENCES THAT YOU ARE LIVING IN THE YEAR 2000
You try to use your password even when operating the microwave.
You haven’t played “solitaire” with real cards for years.
You have a list of 15 phone numbers for your 3-members family.
You send an e-mail to your work mate at the desk in front of you to ask “Should we go to the cafeteria?” and he answers “Ok, give me 5 minutes”.
You chat everyday with an stranger in South America, but so far this year you haven’t spoken to your closest neighbour at home.
You buy a computer, and after a week it gets too old.
You’ve lost contact with some of your friends because they don’t have e-mail.
Your idea of organization is using coloured post-it.
Most of the jokes you know arrive via e-mail.
Once at home after a long working day you answer the phone in a commercial way “Hello, how can I help you?”.
When dialling from home, you first dial a 0.
You carry your CV on a diskette in the pocket.
The worst thing that could happen after a system crash is that you may have lost your jokes.
Your boss cannot do your job.
It’s dark outside when you go and come back from work, also in summer.
You know exactly how many days you have till retirement.
You see a person in the corridor, good looking, with intelligent aspect, and you immediately know that must be visitor.
Your diet is based on the cake remaining from the meetings.
The boss of your department gets the most fancy and new laptop, and you have to go for a coffee while your computer boots.
Being ill is defined as not being able to walk, or being in the hospital.
You are already late on your task when they give to you a new one.
Your boss’ favourite sentences:
“When you have some five minutes. . .”
“Can you do this for me when you have some time. . .”
“In a free moment of course, I know you are very busy. . .”
Holidays is something that you transport from year to year.
Your friends and family describe your work as “he works with computers, or something like that”.
You recognize your children because you use their photograph as desktop background.
While reading this list you’ve been nodding your head and smiling.
As you are reading it you are thinking of forwarding it to your mailing list “people to whom I send jokes”.
It occurs to you that maybe this group of people has already read this joke, but you don’t bother about checking it and send it anyway. . . who cares??
Sign In
June 24, 2002 at 5:34 pm