The Forum time machine

Yep, even from this angle, i’m sure.

Hey! That’s Peter Raw DFC in the cockpit of Mavis too! (DN406 PR-F to the spotters) Just spotted that now. Thats the Revell 1:32 kit aircraft that – it was Raws regular kite – though the Revell bumph bangs on about Pinkie Stark. And Pinkie told me it was Peter Raws too. Sadly, Peter (ex-army officer I do believe, joined 609 with Roy Payne and Humphrey Gilbert after attending the same OTU – Gilbert was Humphrey Lestocq, also known as Flying Officer Kite and Flight lieutenant Batchy Salter, and the stooge of Mr Turnip) was killed on 21st March 1944.

Nope. It was the John Steinbeck of ‘Of Goats and Men’.

It certainly looks like him, dont you think?

Was that the John Steinbeck?

As in Grapes of Wrath etc?

Moggy

Me, its January 1943, and i’m at Manston with 609 (West Riding) Squadron. Roland Beamont is in command, and we are doing night intruder train busting sorties, and daytime anti tip-and-run raids. There are some real legends here, and the press keep coming to visit! They write about us, they love us! But the star of the show, certainly in John Steinbecks view, is William.

Commander Goat, D.S.O.
by John Steinbeck
His name is Wing Commander William Goat, D.S.O., and he is old in honours and some say in iniquity, but when he joined the R.A.F. wing two years ago he was just able to totter about on long and knobbly legs.
For a long time he was treated like any other recruit, kicked about, ignored and at times cursed. But gradually his abilities began to be apparent. He is very good luck to have about. When he is near his wing has good fortune and good hunting.
Gradually his horns grew and his talents developed, until now his rank and his decorations are painted on his horns in brilliant colours, and he carries himself with a shambling strut.
He will eat nearly everything. No party or any review is complete without him. At one party, being left alone for a few moments, it is reported that he ate 200 sandwiches, three cakes, the arrangements for piano and flute of “Pomp and circumstance,” drank half a bowl of punch, and then walked jauntily among the dancers, belching slightly and regarding a certain lieutenants wife, who shall be nameless.
Oxygen appetite
He has the slightly bilious look of the military of the higher brackets. Being an airgoat he has rather unique habits.
If you bring an oxygen bottle into view he rushes to it and demands it. He puts his whole mouth over the outlet and then as you turn the valve on gently he relaxes grunting happily and his sides fill out until he nearly bursts.
Just before he bursts he lets go of the nozzle and collapses very slowly, but the energy he takes from the oxygen makes him leap into the air and engage imaginary goats in horny combat.
He also loves the glycol cooling fluid which is used in the engines of the Typhoons. For hours he will stand under the barrels licking the drips from the spouts.
Indispensable
He has the confidence of his men. Once when it was required that his wing change its base of operations quickly, he was left behind, for in those days it was not known how important he was.
At the new base the men were nervous and irritable, fearful and finally almost mutinous, and at length when it was seen they would not relax a special plane had to be sent to pick up the Wing Commander and transport him to the new base.
Once he arrived everything settled down. The Typhoons had four kills within 24 hours. The nervous tension went out of the air, the food got better as the cooks ceased brooding, and a number of stomach complaints disappeared immediately.
Wing Commander Goat lives in a small house behind the operations room. His name and honours are painted over the door. It is very good luck to go to him and stroke his sides and rub his horns before going out on operation.
He does not go on operation himself. There is not room in the Typhoon for him, but if it were possible to squeeze him in he would be taken, and then heaven knows what great action might not take place.
Evil companions
This goat has only one truly bad habit. He loves beer, and furthermore, he is able to absorb it in such quantities that even the mild nearly non-alcoholic English beer can make him tipsy.
In spite of orders to the contrary, he is able to seek out the evil companions who will give him beer. Once inebriated he is prone to wander about sneering at everything.
He sneers at the American army Air Force and he sneers at the Labour Party, and once he sneered at Mr. Churchill. The sneer is probably inherent in the beer, since punch has quite a different effect on him.
In appearance this goat is not impressive. He has shabby, pinkish fur and a cold and fish-like eye. His legs are not straight. In fact, he is slightly knock-kneed. He carries his head high, and his horns, painted in brilliant red and blue, more than offset any physical oddness.
In every way he is a military figure. He is magnificent on parade. Eventually he will be given a crypt in the Air Ministry and will die in good time of that military ailment, cirrhosis of the liver. He will be buried with full military honours.
But meanwhile Wing Commander William Goat, D.S.O., is the luck of his wing. His loss would cause great unrest and even despondency.
Daily Express 15th July 1943.

Ahhh !

So this was the era when LSD did NOT mean Limited Slip Differential !!!!!

Sorry,

It was compulsory in the sixties.

And anyway I thought the sugar lumps were for the horses.

Moggy

Woahhhhhhhhh , do I hear the elders amongst us advocating the use of mindbending substance’s ?????

For a moment there I thought that PaulC was reponding to the last post and had already been on the ‘Blue Cow’, I now realise that he was responding to the thread in general.
Moggy C, excellent dry humour as always, however unfortunately I do not need to ask anyone else what the psychedelic era was all about, being a product of the 50’s.

Filton 1969 – Brian Trubshaw at the controls of the first UK Concorde prototype 002

I do that as well.

It’s a distillation that I’m calling ‘Blue Cow’

To publicise it I am going to fund the restoration of the TFC Mosquito and paint it in a 60s psychedelic (ask your parents) scheme of blue with yellow dayglo whorls and some funky lettering for the logo and a picture of Claire Short digitally enhanced so she includes some elements of Sam Fox.

I hope everybody approves?

😉

Moggy

Moggy, you are clearly no engineer as what you have made in your shed is not a time machine but a still , the output of which some mind bending liquor. Feel free to send me a sample so as I can join in.

I love Steve’s idea.

“Hey Duggie, you’re a top hole pilot and no mistake, come and have a beer and tell me how you do it, no need for a demo now.”

I suspect he would have floated to the top of the scorers list anyhow, although there has always been some discussion as to whether his lack of lower extremities enhanced his G tolerance, making him a better pilot.

On the other hand don’t forget that he always reckoned if he’d had his real leg trapped under the rudder pedal the day he was shot down then he’d never have got out.

Steve, you may have killed off a national treasure early!

Bob, you are giving me more problems, currently the time machine chamber only measures 3 ft x 3 ft x 6ft high.

Back to the drawing board.

Moggy:rolleyes:

WW2 does seem the obvious time, but as I have the identical problem to Moggy, it’s not a good idea to include active service.

ATA is certainly not bad but I think going as a sort of benign gremlin would be much more fun.
Tell Hawker there was nothing wrong with the Tiffie tail, it was flutter, tell AW the Albemarle was going to be a dog and not to bother…
Look over shoulders at amusing incidents we’ve heard of.
The one I like (well I would, wouldn’t I) was of a Hurricane materialising alongside the Mossie prototype while at Boscombe Down on trials. He was apparently very interested until the Mossie driver got bored and opened the taps!
I think there was something similar a few years later with a USAF pilot and a Dart Dakota as well.

I’d like to go back to 14th December 1931, to Woodley Aerodrome. I’d like to be the unnamed man who finally goaded Douglas Bader into attempting that low level aerobatic display, and I’d like to keep my mouth shut.

I wonder what effect it would have….?

Originally posted by Moggy C
I think gold might be the better idea, I hate the thought of you being arrested for trying to buy a couple of Hampdens with notes bearing a grotesque caricature of the (then) teenage (Princess) Elizabeth.

We’d better fit you up with a proper ‘spiv’ outfit so you blend in.

The storage is going to be a problem. Where are you going to put them in 1946 (?) that you can be sure will still be here when you pop back to 2003?

Harder than you think 🙁

Moggy

Gold it is.

Spiv? No problem – I still have my demob suit!

Storage? Moggy, you forget I have a time machine. I can send the crates through the time machine to my massive warehouse complex where a team of helpers will ensure the aircraft are carefully catalogued awaiting my return. And I took the precaution of ensuring I bought a Super Size Time Machine;)
Fancy a job?:D

Standing on the beach at Kitty Hawk on that December day in 1903 with my digital camera. But could I capture a better photo than the original? I don’t think so.
mmitch

Bearing in mind that the great, late Johnnie Johnson never sustained any injuries in the war (other than one relating to a rugby tackle), I’d be him for a day. Bearing in mind that as Steve Beebee I am a tall, skinny, awkward lummox by comparison, I can only fantasize about what it would be like to be that driven, that self-assured, that brave and have such power to inspire devotion and brotherhood.

And the day I’d pick would be D-Day. At the controls of my Spitfire, leading my Wing over the beaches, I’d get a first class view of this terrible but momentously important day in history. I’d be safe in the knowledge that I personally – being Johnnie Johnson – would come back safely from this mission, and hopefully in time for bacon and eggs and last orders.

:rolleyes:

I think gold might be the better idea, I hate the thought of you being arrested for trying to buy a couple of Hampdens with notes bearing a grotesque caricature of the (then) teenage (Princess) Elizabeth.

We’d better fit you up with a proper ‘spiv’ outfit so you blend in.

The storage is going to be a problem. Where are you going to put them in 1946 (?) that you can be sure will still be here when you pop back to 2003?

Harder than you think 🙁

Moggy

Me, I’d go back to just after the end of WWII with a suitcase full of money/gold and buy up all those surplus aircraft before the scrapman got his hands on them, hide them away in crates and then, when my year was up, return to today and bingo, all those rumours of caches of valuable aircraft would come true.
Now, what would I buy…………………………..;)

Originally posted by Moggy C

(I’m almost surprised you didn’t want to hitch a lift as one of the Moxey crew, to finally find out what happened)…

I was going to comment that it was odd that Kev and IKB both chose characters who were about to die, but then I suppose in the enormity of it all, each of us is doomed eventually.

Moggy,

I almost chose the Moxey crash, but then I would no longer have the challenge of finding out what happened.

I chose Alex because he appears to me to have been a man I would have liked to have known and because of the fact that although he felt certain he was to die, he still had the courage to fly on ops. How many others of Bomber Command felt the same?

Regards,

kev35