The worst lyric thread

As I was driving to work this morning I heard MacArthur Park written and performed by Richard Harris (lyrics below) and it got caught in my head for the rest of the day; there is nothing worse than having a lyric going round and round in your mind, unshakeable no matter how much other rubbish you listen to in a vain attempt to shift it…
But it got me thinking. What are the worst lyrics ever written?
It is generally agreed that Do They Know Its Christmas by Band Aid version #1-47 has some absolutely dire lyrics, most charity songs do, and I think we can leave out comedy songs like Teletubbies and Mr Blobby as well. But to be fair please list songs that most have a fair chance of having heard before – ie nothing from a ‘b’ side, no album tracks, and certainly none from your brothers band from the early 80s that never got signed by a record company – and please list the offending lyrics.
Back to MacArthur Park: I thought the chorus bad and was going to give you that as an example but in fact the whole song is so off with the fairies that he must have been mixing his drugs of choice when he wrote it! Here it is:-
MacArthur Park (Richard Harris)

Spring was never waiting for us, girl
It ran one step ahead
As we followed in the dance
Between the parted pages and were pressed
In love’s hot, fevered iron
Like a striped pair of pants

MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don’t think that I can take it
‘Cause it took so long to bake it
And I’ll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

I recall the yellow cotton dress
Foaming like a wave
On the ground around your knees
The birds, like tender babies in your hands
And the old men playing checkers by the trees

MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don’t think that I can take it
‘Cause it took so long to bake it
And I’ll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

There will be another song for me
For I will sing it
There will be another dream for me
Someone will bring it
I will drink the wine while it is warm
And never let you catch me looking at the sun
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
You’ll still be the one

I will take my life into my hands and I will use it
I will win the worship in their eyes and I will lose it
I will have the things that I desire
And my passion flow like rivers through the sky
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
I’ll be thinking of you
And wondering why

MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don’t think that I can take it
‘Cause it took so long to bake it
And I’ll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!
Oh, no
No, no
Oh no!!

Not good – yet it reached #4 in the summer of 1968…

Flood