Where's the sense?

Sometimes amongst all of the sadness connected with bereavement there are touching stories too.

My other half attended the joint funeral service and burial today of two of her long-time clients who both passed away on the same day just a week ago. Both were in their mid-to-late 80’s and had been married for many, many years. He had served as a Hurricane pilot and then went on to fly Typhoons and took part in the Amiens prison raid in ’44. She was a Wren at Bletchley Park.

Very sad for their respective families, especially their grandchildren, to lose two special people at the same time, but a very poignant end to long and happy lives for the two of them, in my opinion.

R.I.P. Ian and Molly

Steve

Just buried our next door neighbour on Monday , found dead on her kitchen floor after a heart attack , 42 years old , leaves 2 nice kids , no warning – struck down in the prime of life .
In the chemist this morning I was being served behind two robbing pikeys who were in for their methadone script – there is no sense in this world . Junkie scum will probably live on handouts from taxpayers and live to see old age , give them as much heroin as they want and hopefully the ba$tards will OD.

Nothing I can say will help me to understand what you must be feeling. I can only offer my sincere condolences.

As has been said by AIB et al, you can’t make sense of it (viz the poor young mother recently the victim of the unprovoked stabbing, which may well leave her paralysed). I have a 12 year old son and I fear for what the future holds for him and his generation.

Steve.

It’s hard. And it doesn’t really get that much easier. My girlfriend was killed in an accident at 18. If I’d have been where I was supposed to be we would have been nowhere near the accident. But her sister would have died instead. She died saving her sister. I was really close to both my aunt and my mom. I’ve often thought they’re gone, it’s over, that’s it. But it’s not. They are still here in some form or other. These people did so much to colour my life they will never be gone.

I was going through a very bad patch and being the selfish individual I am finally got round to voicing the thought “why me?” A very wise person told me that maybe it’s because I can cope and will cope, where someone else might not. Which made me think of C/Sgt Bourne’s answer in Zulu. “Because we’re here laddie, and nobody else.” None of this helps you of course, we all only wish we could do something to help. Which makes these fora very different to some of the others I’ve tried.

But, to answer your initial question, I really don’t know where the sense is, perhaps we shouldn’t even bother looking for any? Maybe it’s better just to care for tose we truly care about and try not to worry about the rest. No-one ever said the world was fair.

I sincerely hope all works out for you.

Regards,

kev35

I’m sorry to here of your loss Steve, best wishes for your other friend.

Mark’s said what I’ve tried to type a couple of times. Julies family has been devastated by cancer, her Gran, Aunt and Uncle all succumbing to it, my father survived throat cancer but died after a long term illness as the result of a stroke. Just before last Christmas Jules herself was diagnosed with a mild form of skin cancer, mild or not it was a shock to us both. Luckily they caught it in time, it’s changed her outlook completely.

Steve from experience it’s best not to look too far forward to the inevitable, make the most of today, enjoy them while you can. There’s not a day goes by without me thinking of my Dad, sometimes it’s with a smile, the other night when I found his RAF photo’s buried under a pile of papers in my study it was with a tear. I found that I may not be able to touch them physically but they’re never far away.

I have a friend also who is dying of cancer. Yet he is upbeat – he is planning the funeral. He has lived 60 years after a prang in a Typhoon that had him in plaster for months with a smashed back and looks back with joy on his life. There’s no message there, really, for you. Another friend is also suffering cancer and emphysema. Keeps himself remarkably active and won’t stop doing his ‘work’. It’s sad, but inevitable. Whatever happens, you must ‘seize the day’. I’m sorry for your loss and worry, nothing helps. But your friends, and their friends, are there, and still care, and that is something.

Insensitive post in a thoughtful thread Ben.

I mentioned losing my dad, is that so insensitive? I just hope Steve doesn’t turn his back to the world because of this fact. It’s not insensitive, sometimes people ought to tell the truth. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel sorry for Steve. In fact, I hope he can find the strenght to go one. But how do we help Steve by saying “we’re so sorry” if we turn of our pc and don’t care anymore. I was giving him advice.

It’s OK Steve. I can get emotional too sometimes. I hope your friend gets better. Cancer doesn’t always mean the end, you know. However, if your colleague died one week after diagnose he probably has had it a long time but was afraid of going to the doctor.

I however hate remarks like “gov’t is not putting money into cancer treatment but in prisons”. Gov’t has to take care of everyone.

Sorry everyone, just needed somewhere to offload. Not a good day here today, everyone’s feeling very low about losing one of life’s good guys, and it’s been exacerbated by a major injustice which is going on elsewhere.

Ben – fair point, my comment re Guantanamo does appear hypocritical compared to my posting on here.

Mods, if I’ve overstepped the mark with this thread let me know and I’ll pull it.

I found out yesterday that a former colleague of mine, who was highly regarded and well respected here, and who had been a great help to me personally over the last five years, died of liver cancer on Sunday morning just a week after being diagnosed. And today, someone else very dear to me starts their cancer treatment, with no guarantee of success.

Yet at the same time there are lowlife paedophile scumbags who look set to quite happily wreck peoples lives while the courts just sit back and let it happen.

What kind of world have we created?

:confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

I know exactly what you mean Steve my sympathies go to you on loss of your friend and my thoughts are with your other friend.
My work collegue has lost her Mum today after she caught what appears to be MRSA today she has gone with her sister to turn off the life support machine, It leaves me in tears just thinking of a Friend going through this.
I lost my father in december 2000 from what appears to have also been MRSA and i am still as bitter as hell now.

It seems to me shed loads of money is spent on making sure the scum of the country live in a life luxury, Either in prison or in houses that we are paying for, Meanwhile its seems nothing much comes from the Governments purse to find cures for cancers etc.

Its a sad world we have here now but do we put up or do we try and do something?.

Insensitive post in a thoughtful thread Ben.

I find it strange though you were laughing away the fact that two possibly innocent people have been kept captive in Cuba for 4 years. So where’s the justice you talk about? :confused: :confused:

Cheap shot Ben 😡

Moggy

Well, I can understand what you’re going through. Look, I lost my dad too when I was very young. You are reacting very emotional right now which I understand. But don’t let your view of the world become too negative. There’s enough to live for. In fact, people who have never experienced real problems (losing a family member or a dear friend) are always the ones who complain most, think they are treated unfairly etc.

People with some life-experience are most of the times optimistic, because they know there are other things to worry about. I hope Steve, that you can find peace the following days. I know it’s hard, but don’t hate the “world” because of this.

I find it strange though you were laughing away the fact that two possibly innocent people have been kept captive in Cuba for 4 years. So where’s the justice you talk about? :confused: :confused:

Should have slotted the b@st@rds on sight, would have saved a lot of taxpayers money and a lot of left-wing ‘civil rights’ nonsense.

I know I’m not much of help right now, but you are not the only one on this planet suffering. Losing someone dear really hurts, I know it myself quite well, but that doesn’t justify something as egocentric-emotionality.

Steve, you have my sympathy. I’m getting to that age where my family (grand parents) are getting on.

dme

I’ve given up trying to make sense of it all babe, there is simply no answering some questions in life sadly 🙁

Best wishes to that person dear to you, fingers crossed here.

There is no justice on earth. Everything boils down to pot luck sadly. You can spend a lifetime running marathons only to drop dead from a heart attack, while someone who smokes 60 a day, drinks like a fish and beats his wife will doubtless live to see his royal telegram.

As for the courts – don’t even get me going on that one…

Steve

Lifes a bitch mate, as Mr Patterson would say, its not a dress rehearsal.

Please accept my condolences for your friend and best wishes to your other friend. As for the rest of it, there’s nothing much to be done it’s just life and the way it works. 🙁

Steve,
there is no sense.

This is as good as it gets–sorry.
Andy