Worst (clean) jokes ever – what's yours?

How did the baker get an electric shock?

He stood on a bun and the current went up his leg!

what do you call someone who’s about to push you off a cliff?
you baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

did you hear about the dog that was surounded by four trees?. poor thing didn’t have a leg to stand on!
Greg

A little girl goes into a barber shop with her dad, and sits there eating her sweets while her dad gets his hair cut.

The barber turns to her and says: “Honey, you’re gonna get hairs all over your Twinky.”

To which she replies: “I know, and I’m gonna get boobs, too!” 😉

What wood was used to make Noahs Ark?

2 by 2

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino
el-if-I-no
naka

Football analysis by a blonde…

A guy took his blonde girl friend to her first football game. They had
great
seats right behind their
Team’s bench.. After the game, he asked her how she liked the
experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight
pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they
were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked,
“What do you mean?” “Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it
and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was:

“Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!” Hel-LLLO! It’s only 25 cents!

I like it, very funny

Two lumps of sick walking down the road when one lump starts to cry
the other asks “why are you crying?”
The first lump replies ” Sorry to get so emotional but I was brought up ’round here”

nope other way round me thinks

Maybe Radio Two were reading this?

so come on then how many of you were listening to radio 2 this afternoon, a few of them were on there.

This one only works in a Norfolk accent… (and you need to know that’s there are towns called Loddon and Beccles…)

Word is that Osama Bin Laden’s been spotted in Norfolk. A local copper is assigned to stop every car he sees in case the Al Qaida mastermind is in one of them.

First car he stops – he asks the driver … “You Bin Laden?”

Driver replies – “No, I bin Beccles”

😀 😀

I apologise to non-East Anglians in advance…

Football analysis by a blonde…

A guy took his blonde girl friend to her first football game. They had
great
seats right behind their
Team’s bench.. After the game, he asked her how she liked the
experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight
pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they
were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked,
“What do you mean?” “Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it
and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was:

“Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!” Hel-LLLO! It’s only 25 cents!

What is yellow and can´t swim?

An excavator.

What have tupperware and a walrus got in common?

They both like a nice tight seal.

Did you hear about the that actress that was stabbed, Reese um!

Witherspoon

No, with a knife ya fool

Why has Edward Woodward got so many D’s in his name?

Cos otherwise he’d be Ewar Woowar… 🙂 😀

genius

Three guys are discussing the fastest thing on earth.

The first says “I reckon it has to be thought, you think it and it’s there.”

The second says “I reckon it’s electricity, you press the switch and the light comes on instantly.”

The third says “you’re both wrong, it’s diaorrhoea. If you get diaorrhoea in the night you don’t have time to think about it or turn on the light.”

Regards,

kev35

Whats brown and sticky?

A stick…

Flood

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot ?

A carrot.