Because they only have two hands:confused:

:rolleyes: Yes, but why pick them all up in the first place?

Why, when going into bat, do baseball players pick-up about four bats and swing them all together then drop them all except one?

Why would anyone go into a shop, order a pizza, wait for it to be cooked, probably pay about £12 for it, then just take it out of the box and throw it in the river? :confused:

Maybe the ‘anyone’ fell in and was also floating down the river somewhere?

1. Why people don’t carry jump leads in their cars.
2. People that do have jump leads in the car but no idea how to use them.:rolleyes: lucky i am a good Samaritan.

Hey, I always carry jump-leads in my car and I know how to use them…

…unfortunately that says more about the sort of cars I used to drive than my ‘Samaritan’ credentials!

I’ll tell you one frightening thing; I went to check the ‘spare’ in a car I’d just hired the other day (yes, I am that sad!) and was shocked to find the spare-wheel-well in the boot only contained a foam holder with a electric tyre-pump in it!

I ask you…..what ******* use is that if you’ve got a flat tyre in a foreign country in the middle of the night? 😡

If there is a loophole in the expense system, which puts money in my pocket for a genuine claim then am I to not claim?

I think the keyword here is ‘genuine’.

MPs are allowed to claim for mortgages on second homes but some MPs claimed for mortgages when they didn’t have a mortgage. Is that a fiddle?

Yes, the system was open to abuse…..but the MPs didn’t have to abuse it.

If you want something! Go Get

Reminds me of that scene in ‘Blackadder Goes Forth’:

Lord Flasheart: And always remember…..if you want something…..take it! Bobby!
Bob Parkhurst: My lord?
Lord Flasheart: I want something.
Bob Parkhurst: Take it!

That no child or adult killed accidentally or with intent is anything other than, kind, warm, generous, loving of their family, courageous, a model citizen and destined for greatness. :rolleyes:

…we now go over to Saint ****** School to talk to the headmaster:

“Personally I’m relieved that ******** won’t be attending my school any more, if ‘attending’ is correct word to describe the serial- truancy and extremely disruptive behaviour of this violent, drunken, foul-mouthed, ignorant, ASBO-magnet, little ****!

When he was here he learned nothing except how to bully and extort money from children half his size. He would certainly have left here with no qualifications whatsoever and would simply have become another burden to the taxpayer…

…like the rest of his benefit-cheating family.

Frankly I think that the bull that gored him to death did us all a favour!

Right, I’m off now to update my CV.”

If you can afford to own a million pound home , ( no offence intended to those of you on this forum who do , m’lord .) you should be able to afford to decorate it and maintain the garden yourself.

I think we should be clear here that the expenses claimed by MPs should be those incurred while carrying out their job. Sometimes their job requires them to own a second home so that they can attend parliament.

However it also seems clear that some MPs have been on the fiddle and have got caught…

…and are now being asked to pay back money they have defrauded the taxpayer out of going back for the last five years (even if they have been happily defrauding the taxpayer for ten or more years).

Personally I think some of them are making a fuss because they know they’re not going to be MPs in a few months so that’ll be the end of the gravy-train…

…well, ain’t life a bitch! :diablo: