“relationships that begin online and progress to marriage- tend to last longer than “traditional” relationships.”
I concur with Ian. That is plain ********. Statistics on that can’t possibly be takjen over a long enough timescale to even be compared. My wife (she’s French and we had no probs immigration-wise unfortunately) and I have been together since 1996 (though it seems longer). How many of you were online then? I certainly wasn’t. My brothers marriage lasted 13 years – who here was online in 1991? My parents were married in 1965 – need I bother going on?
To all those who meet online, good luck. To all those who meet elsewhere, good luck. Relationships are successful or not depending on the two involved and the way things go – not on how they started.
Quite right Snapper. You can buy anything on the net and if you are content to ‘buy’ a bride the market place is open for business, with regard to intenet dating undoubtedly there are some happy stories after all there is someone for everyone somewhere but……..an awful lot of people that try to ‘find love’ or a relationship via the internet are vulnerable people.
In many cases that is why they have ended up there, usually because of string of failures and because this lowers their self esteem they feel that their possiblities are exhausted in the more traditional areas of friends, social circle, work, a chance meeting down the local etc. This can apply equally to both genders.
Unfortunately there are also some people out there ‘looking for love’ because they have no possiblities left via the ‘normal’ routes, this is because they are intelligent nutters and under the surface have serious personality disorders that they know they can ‘hide’ under the cover of the net. These are predominantly male and they seek their prey with care, the web offers them a ready made pool of ladies hanging on to hope, in reality they are victims on a plate.
If you are cleaver (I don’t profess to be) and you ask the right questions at the right time in the right way you can get anyone to reveal almost anything about themselves via e mail.
This is because the person on the recieving end of the question does not have the benefit of voice tone and body language to help them, the internet dating predator hides behind the camouflage of the keyboard, cultivates an ongoing converstaion and waits until they see an opening they can exploit.
The victim always give themselves away without even knowing
My best freind is a victim. It took her ten years to escape from her previous relationship, it took her that long because she did not realise the bloke was a total control freak until eight years had passed and it took the next two to pluck up the courage to leave.
Because her previous partner had so totally controlled her life she knew no one in the ‘outside world’ as it were and after a time began looking on the net for romance.
She is a bright and intelligent woman who soon met plenty of nutters, perverts, obsessives, married (or currently in a relationship) men pretending to be single (at least 75%) and the odd one or two that she “couldn’t quite put her finger on it but something was wrong” category, all of whom however whom seemed perfectly plausable at the outset… in that initial e mail contact.
After a string of failures she was getting really down and I said to her give it a rest for while it’s doing you no good but, she continued, and got caught.
Her life has been completely taken over and away from her right down to the exclusion of all her existing friends and almost all her family.
She is now worse off than she was before she left her previous long term relationship and she doesn’t even realise it.
It breaks my heart.
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