Ben.
As the others said I am sorry for your loss. I know you are feeling it very deeply at the moment. Most of us have probably experienced the phone call, or the knock at the door, a family member or friend starting the conversation with the words “I have some bad news.” Or sometimes just the look on a face that tells you all you need to know but never wanted to hear. Somehow though, for those left behind, suicide is harder to bear. In a way the person committing suicide has cheated us. We were their friend. We had expectations. He/she was my best friend/brother/sister, they were to be best man/bridesmaid at my wedding, they were going to be my husband/wife, we were going into business together etc.
when I worked as a nurse, we had the friday, saturday and sunday night regulars. At least once a month and sometimes more often they would attempt suicide. Not do enough to kill themselves but enough to warrant attention. A monday morning visit to the psychiatrist and then home, usually with a month’s supply of the pills they’d taken in the first place. But sometimes, someone would be brought in who genuinely wanted to die. I always wondered whether the medical profession had the right to deny them that. These were the people who recovered from their attempt, but a week later you’d read about them in the press, hanged, walked in front of a train or found dead in bed.
Sorry, Ben, I know none of this helps you. Maybe Erin’s right, maybe it is chemical. Maybe these people just can’t cope with life and relationships, or the lack of them. All I know is that to an outsider it is such a waste. Sometimes, for those who do commit suicide, it is a release.
Regards,
kev35
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