Jim clear it up easy, Brillo pad her anus. You could make a final present of a nice shiny ring for her!

Shazzer, She is just out of nick for breaking her asbo and flogging her electronic tag as a tracker to a bloke for his Merc.The clown forgot he nicked the car in the first place, still he hoping that he will get away with another caution as its only his 37th offence.

Henry Alias I have tracked you down at last. You are the one who popped out to buy a paper six years ago an left my sister with seven children and twins in the oven! Come back and put her in family way again because the council will give her a brand new six bed house and a lot more dosh if she gets to ten sprogs. The four black ones took a bit of explaining but they accepted the fact that you had a job as a chimney sweep for a few years.

Your Brother in Law Wayne Kerr (for the DWP( and Boris Cameron (for Wonga)

PS whats a RE 8 is it a claim form and what do I get and is it backdateable ?

Parking on double yellow lines is permitted for 3hrs(provided you are not causing a obstruction that is serious. The rest of your post gives us Blue Badge holders a bad name. You can qualify for a badge even if you are not always unable to walk without pain but this seems blatant disregard for the system IMO. Seems obvious to me that the badge holder was not present.

On the back is a photo of the holder but the only people empowered to see it are Police Officers.Toll attendants and Parking wardens on the public highway(not private land)

As Moggy says every scrote knows how to get locking wheel nuts off. No point even bothering with them. When you want to take them off legitimately you will never find the little doofer (especially at night on a busy unlit road!)

Dogfish, usually found off the Canadian province of Newfoundland in Labrador

I don’t know why you can,t afford a solicitor. My advice is stop paying all bills and tell them they will be settled as soon as your matrimonial dispute is settled. Your wife has the money and perhaps they would readdress them to her.You never asked for the accounts to be in your name anyway! Advise them that you are a pensioner of 73 in poor health and are getting help from Age UK,CAB and whoever else but it is difficult to get a quick appointment(they know that)That should hold them for quite a time. TV licence are a different matter(just do not let them in if you are watching live TV(You do not need a licence for your computer unless you are watching live programmes)

“Extinguished: The aircraft was covered in a chemical foam as firefighters battle to put out the blaze?”

Any sharp eyed members spot where the blaze was? Chemical foam? really serious stuff!