In a similar vein

“In the event of the cabin de-compressing, oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling, and the stewardesses will be there to charge you for them. Thank you for flying Ryanair”.

“This is your co-pilot speaking, if anybody has found a copy of ‘Flying for Dummies’ would you please come to the cockpit and give it to the captain”.

” ‘Boeing/Boeing/Boeing’ – the payout line in an aviation themed fruit machine”.

And many others, but I need to plumb the depths of my head for them.

WP840, That’s exactly the point I was making.

Learning I can go back to University in September, after having to leave this year for health reasons.

It was rhetorical.

Personally I’m for the locked up for LIFE, in solitary, no comforts, only occasional contact with relatives, and spending 23 hours out of every 24 locked in a spartan, basic cell option.

I’m not really sure how a hanging would be carried out these days but I believe the hands of the condemned are usually bound behind their back. What if they struggle and resist? What if when you go into their cell they are lying on their bed clutching a teddy-bear and crying that they don’t want to die?

What about James Bulger, did he want to die?

My favourite was seen on the back of a lorry at Calais waiting for the ferry back to England after finishing a work-experience placement I did in Lille. It read “Please overtake quietly; Illegal immigrants asleep.”

A price sticker on a marbled FEP of an antiquarian book I bought. I don’t want to leave it on as it will look ugly, but if I take it off, I’ll take the marbling with it. 😡

‘she says “I was a terrible wife, and then I blew it as a lesbian” and he says “maybe thats where you went wrong?”‘ Brilliant.

The thing is some comedians who swear are funny, and there are others who also swear and are awful. Fact of life. It’s also the same for those who don’t swear: there are funny ones, like Tim Vine, and those that aren’t, like Ricky Gervais.

Before I go here’s a joke I was told recently:

When I was at Uni, I tried really, really hard to like fetish clothing. The problem was, I just couldn’t get into it. 😉