I once had a dog named Minton, after the pottery firm. One evening it swallowed a shuttlecock. I whistled, called him over and said, “Bad Minton”.

Right, upload problems sorted. Here is mine:

A brunette, a red-head and a blonde were all locked in a room with a magic mirror. The mirror speaks to the group and says that if they say something that’s true then they can have two wishes, but if they lie, they will die a horrible, violent death. So the brunette goes first. She goes up to the mirror and says”I think I’m pretty”, to which the mirror grants her her two wishes. The red-head is up next, and she says “I think I’m smart”, and again the mirror gives her her two wishes. Finally, it is the turn of the blonde, and before she says anything, the mirror says “If you lie you will die a horrible death”. “I understand”, she says, and explodes.

I’d willingly donate money to send the … legitimately challenged man to Antarctica, as long as it was a one-way ticket.

I also thought that Baroness Warsi made a great deal of sense on certain issues last night.

Raise the Titanic

An awful film with a great soundtrack.

One night, a businessman comes back early from a business trip to Dublin. Later that evening, at about twelve o’clock, the telephone rings. The man answers and says irately “How the hell should I know, I live in Oxford”. “Who was it dear”? “Oh, just some twit who wanted to know if the coast was clear”.

I remember watching on television a news broadcast about this. It was a local museum that invited people to display itemsthey thought were significant. In the display were a collection of Golly badges, and a couple of 19th century Blackamoor figures from the Black Forest. There was a big hoo-hah aobout it and whether they should be pulled. The irony was that it was a Black man who had lent them in the first place, saying that it is part of his social history, and, while sometimes regrettable, wanted to preserve for others what it was like for his race at certain points in history.

Doctor No dead?

Noooo!! Seriously, thoughts are with his family. Dr No was after Largo and Zorin my favourite Bond villain.