There are two blondes out walking in the countryside, when all of a sudden they come across a pair of tracks. “I think they’re deer tracks,” says one. “They can’t be,” said the other. They were still arguing when the train hit them.

Spilling coffee on to the first three pages of one of my recently completed music compositions, a piece which I had spent the past few weeks working on, and which is due to be performed soon. :mad::mad::mad:

I am well aware that there are (still) principled people out there, like as you say Frank Field, and Anne Widdecombe, it’s just that I merely wondered how many members of the public would do that themselves if they had the chance. I also agree that many of them should go, and many will, at the next general election.

What annoys me most over these expenses is that the average guy in the street is all self righteous about it and is up in arms, but how many of them can honestly say that if they had been in the same position they wouldn’t have acted the same way. It seem that Macaulay (I think), was right when he said that there was nothing more ridiculous than the British public in one of it’s rare fits of morality.

My point of view is that he should never have been banned in the first place. What is really ironic, is that it is the left-wing politicians, who discriminate aginst those who disagree with them. Surely if discrimination is wrong, all forms of discrimination are wrong, even against those who would themselves discriminate. Besides, if we got these people out in to the open to discuss those beliefs, people would see just how ridiculous those opinions are.

Whenever a hero goes to meet someone in a particularly rough neighbourhood, he will always take an expensive car like an Aston Martin or a Bentley. Not only that, but he will also leave the carkeys in the ignition with the doors unlocked. Two hours later, the car not only has all its hubcaps present, but is still there. How?

Having some complete tw@t steal my wallet. It’s not so much the fact that I’ve lost money, (about £4 or so), but having to go to the bank and go through the endless rigamarole of getting my old card cancelled, and their sending me a new one, which will either not get delivered because of the postal strike or end up in some godforsaken place like Nigeria, and be opened by some retired Brigadier.;)

Near enough
(Canard – Ayr – Sea – Tee 33(rpm) – Silver – Starr)

I’m currently having upload problems so if anyone would like to post one, please feel free.