only just looked at this thread and have read all your reports on your sisters progress, i’m so glad that she’s pulling through, but theres something dreadfully wrong when a hospital and its staff can cause and not cure, such a dreadful thing to happen. Anyway i’m glad for you and your family that all is going to be well

i take it the dumbass girl thought they were different then

me neither, so go on then how do you differentiate between the two?

This is taken from the latest edition of FHM .

When I was studying in Ireland , I took up rugby. Asmy first season wore on , the lads and I were eventually scheduled to play a team which had a reputation for violent play . Considering that we weren’t the most talented outfit to have ever takenthe field , we decided to accept the challenge with a ” do or die ” attitude , hoping things would
eventually swing our way . They didn’t and to make matters worse our star player dislocated his hip after a particularly ferocious tackle .He was clearly in a lot of pain , so we all stood back to which the medic who , in one swift movement , managed to slot the hip back into its socket . Then Alan began a long blood curdling scream . To our horror , we realised that one of his testicles had also been jammed into the socketand was now firmly held in the place by the hip . Incidentally , Alan managed to rip a vocal chord with his screaming .

Dog’s Dinner

A policeman in Staffordshire returned home from a nightshift to find his wife preparing breakfast. For some unknown reason, hewrapped a slice of bread around his penis, at which point the dog leapt up and took a bite out of it. The man needed cosmetic surgery to restore the damage.

Flower Power…………..(I defy any of you not to wince atthis one.!!)

A man turned up at a hospital wearing an overcoat, and withblood dripping down his leg. When he removed the coat, the doctor saw hehad a geranium insert in his penis. The man got the flower in without anydifficulty, but when he tried to remove it, the hairs on the stem of the flower had dug into the uretha and ripped it to shreds.

ignore the link, i’ll cut and paste instead
Crushed Nuts

When a 40-year old man turned up at a hospital asking to see adoctor specialising in men’s troubles, he was shown into a cubicle,where hegingerly unwrapped three yards of foul smelling stained gauze fromaroundhis scrotum, which had swollen to twice the size of a grapefruit.
On further inspection, it was discovered that his left testicle was missing completely,and, embedded within the swollen, tender and weeping wound, were a number of dark objects which the patient confessed were one inchstaple nails from an industrial staple gun. It transpired that theman spenthis lunchtimes alone in his workshop, where he regularly enjoyed thesexualthrill of placing his penis on the moving canvas fan-belt of a piece
of machinery. One day, the excitement had caused him to lose his concentration, and the fan-belt had snatched his scrotum into the fly-wheel, throwing him several feet across the loor tearing off his left nut. Rather than go to the hospital, he performed first-aid on himself with the stapling gun, then went back to work when his colleagues returned. It was two weeks before he got around to visitingthe hospital.