The GD Forum is another world.

Here sanity prevails – and you are as sane as the next man 😮

Moggy

You got a problem with the insane ???……………..oops, sorry wrong forum…

Auster, stick with it mate, tis the season to be “jolly”……. 😀 😀

Of course, it always starts with the obligatory stab at Bush.

Only if we can use Johnny Rotten’s version.

Canada is outside of America. There is an MLB team in Canada, Toronto actually. One in Montreal too for the time being. And a great deal of people south of our border like the game as well, even if they don’t have an MLB team themselves.

Funny you Yanks can dish it out, but you sure can’t take it………..humour boy, humour……….CHILL……….

The “real” reason for the invasion of Iraq……… :diablo: :diablo:

You’re right Hand87_5. I was being facetious. I know there is a lot more going on there, and I don’t think they are a colonial power/pawn. What is lacking here is the treatment recieved by anyone disagreeing with the more fashionable opinions expressed here over the use of force elsewhere in the world.

I want to be fashionable too. So here goes…

If you voted for Jaques Chirac, or if you support his policies, you endorse murder, starvation, torture, and the general human suffering of people in Iraq over the last ten years. Thats cool, Jaques, Kofi, and Kofi Jr, are loaded now, thanks to your “But people will suffer” attitudes. Tell that to the cats in the mass graves in Iraq.

That is what I do believe…….as for facetiousness…

All the people who think Chirac is right are of very low intelligence, at the very minimum, gullible, I don’t know what the european work for redneck is, but its breath probably smells like cheese, and they smell like goat herders. As for their troops protecting the “Colony”. They are murdering foriegn legion scum, probably ex nazi, at least trained by ex nazis….Lack of response, or damn near any dissenting response, means you endorse the murder of the innocent people of the Ivory Coast.

Sound familiar anyone?

Such desperate tactic’s, I almost feel sorry for you! Clearly you lack the guts to admit that you have lost the argument! 😡

:diablo:

REVOCATION OF US INDEPENDENCE

In the light of your failure to elect a human as President of the USA and
thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over
all states, commonwealths and other territories, except Utah which she does
not fancy.
Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85%
of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your
borders) will appoint a Minister for America without the need for further
elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will
be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules
are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary.
Then look up “aluminium”. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed
at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter ‘U’ will be
reinstated in words such as ‘favour’ and ‘neighbour’. Skipping the letter
‘U’ is nothing more than laziness on your part.
Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the
letters.
You will end your love affair with the letter ‘Z’ (pronounced ‘zed’ not
‘zee’) and the suffix “ize” will be replaced by the suffix “ise”.
You will learn that the suffix ‘burgh’ is pronounced ‘burra’ e.g. Edinburgh.
You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as ‘Pittsberg’ if you can’t cope with
correct pronunciation.
Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels.
Look up “vocabulary”. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with
filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is an unacceptable and
inefficient form of communication.
Look up “interspersed”.
There will be no more ‘bleeps’ in the Jerry Springer show. If you’re not old
enough to cope with strong language then you shouldn’t have chat shows.
When you learn to develop your Vocabulary then you won’t have to use strong
language as often.

2. There is no such thing as “US English”. We will let Microsoft know on
your behalf.
The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the
reinstated letter ‘u’ and the elimination of “-ize”.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It
really isn’t that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney,
upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier).
You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents – Scottish
dramas such as “Taggart” will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.
While we’re talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such
place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is “Devon”. If you
persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become “shires”
e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the
good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English
characters. British sit-coms such as “Men Behaving Badly” or “Red Dwarf”
will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who
can’t cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, “God Save The Queen”,
but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get
confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American “football”. There is only one kind of
football. What you refer to as American “football” is not a very good game.
The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders
may have noticed that no one else plays “American” football. You will no
longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.
Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult
game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play Rugby
(which is similar to American “football”, but does not involve stopping for
a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like
nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by
2005.
You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event
called the ‘World Series’ for a game which is not played outside of America.
Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders,
your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to
play a girls’ game called “rounders” which is baseball without fancy Team
strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be
allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable
peeler. Because we don’t believe you are sensible enough to handle
potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry
a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 12th will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will be called “Indecisive Day”.

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own
good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All
road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving
on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go Metric with
immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts
and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries
are not real chips. Fries aren’t even French, they are Belgian though 97.85%
of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not
aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato
chips are properly called “crisps”. Real chips are thick cut and fried in
animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be
served warm and flat.
Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all
tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be
doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer
at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be
referred to as “beer”, and European brews of known and accepted provenance
will be referred to as “Lager”. The substances formerly known as “American
Beer” will henceforth be referred to as “Near-Frozen Donkey ****”, with the
exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product
will be referred to as “Weak Near-Frozen Donkey ****”. This will allow true
Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech
Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or “Gasoline” as you
will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the
former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and
the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US
gallon – get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns or lawyers.
The fact that you need so many lawyers shows that you’re not adult enough to
be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you’re not adult
enough to sort things out without suing someone then you’re not grown up
enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to
ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation.

See http://www.flyastraeus.com for more details 🙂

Pity the stairs “bounced” along the side of the aircraft :diablo: Touch up or respray, I wonder?

Now we have the IRA in play again. I wasn’t aware it was deployed worldwide. :rolleyes:
Sauron

When I last looked, Colombia was a very long way from the UK :rolleyes: