Thing is, Ryan, what would you do? Sit back complacently, or make sure you’d covered off all of the angles? For example, what if Labour swapped out Corbyn for Andy Burnham or the drummer from Blur?

At the moment the chief eĺection strategy is avoiding policies and telling everyone Corbyn can’t argue strongly. (May isn’t debating with him on TV so as not to blow the gaffe on either of those ideas).

But what if Corbyn goes, and they can’t put together a playgound taunt list for the new guy in time? I’d take all the backup I could get to shore up the house of cards until this election is won, for that is what it is.

Just keep on chanting. ‘Strong and stable, strong and stable, strong and…’

Political parties of all colours have strategists who are highly paid not to be as smug and stupid as the ‘front men’, the politicians, often are. They would tell you that maintaining any status quo in politics takes effort and yes, even a little conspiracy – even if it is to undermine or diffuse dissent. I am sure you recognise that ‘strong leadership’ is near the bottom.of the pile – while nationalism is the fumes of the reserve tank. After resorting to that there’s nothing left within the bounds of democracy.

So yes, I’d back it all up with whatever I could.

Because it is better to be safe than be trumped.

Their advantage is a tissue, a house of cards. In the real world beyond such superficialities they have nothing in the bag. Absolutely nothing – apart from a compliant media and a convinient foreign enemy. Both could evaporate, leaving them with nothing to say. In unspun policy terms Labour have all the cards – simply by being in opposition to an austerity government. So they use what they have – ‘everybody hates Jeremy’, filthy foreigners and any PR machination they can apply – like this sad use of illness as political capital.

And would you trust the current crop not to do or say anything ridiculous? May has already sailed close to the wind with ‘they’re all picking on me’.

It’s not complicated compared to many things which take place routinely. Also, the idea may have come from the spin team who work for the palace, who probably have far less faith than central office.

Look, I’m not big on conspiracy theories generally, but when you stand back and look at it in the round it is rather an odd niche thing to announce in isolation, no matter how worthy, when whole NHS is crying out for help. And then when you look at it further it was a peculiar sudden emphasis and thus public awareness raising in advance from the royals (over and above any Change.org petition, of which there are many). If it barks like a dog, etc.

You do know I wasn’t talking about the queen’s speech, right? I am guessing you don’t read or watch the news.

She knows how to look like she’s dealing with it for a month or so, to people who think ‘being difficult’ is a negotiation technique in itself.

..the socially unevolved, perhaps.

I lived through it and I disagree. Social evolution my ****.

We live in a country where we, ordinary working people, vote for councillors belonging to a party that is ideologically bent on screwing us and our families over. Why? Because the leader of that party shouts at foreigners. How socially evolved is that, exactly?

You think a succession of right-of-centre South-centric Governments since 1979 would have put taxpayer’s money into regenerating our ex-industrial cities like the EU did? Whether or not you agree with it is a different argument. I agree we voted for a series of malevolent sods who would sooner their Eton mates got tax breaks than see yours truly get his first job in a cafe on the Albert Dock funded by Europe – which is what happened.

You really think we are capable of any kind of spontaneous reform with this ever-decreasing level of sophistication? I despair – many do.

No, that’s true. But unless you are suggesting that we spontaneously adopted all those things coincidentally with them becoming EU policy the facts remain what they are. The EU introduced them and we didn’t. Saying ‘yes, but we could have, might have, in an alternate universe’ doesn’t really cut it. It would be like one of the Judean People’s Front in that scene saying ‘Well, we COULD have introduced wine and plumbing on our own, if it wasn’t for those bloody Romans doing it first, the *******s’.