RE: Whats your favourite television advert?

the best one at the moment has to be the carphone warehouse. The animation of the poor little mobile phone is excellent… really makes me feel sorry for the poor little guy 🙁

RE: I will not leave

Good on you… don’t leave honey you’re good fun 😉

The rabbit and the snake

Once upon a time, allegedly, in a nice little forest, there lived an
orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By surprising coincidence both were blind from birth. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.
“Oh, my,” said the bunny, “I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’ve been blind since birth, so, I can’t see where I’m going. In fact, since I’m also an orphan, I don’t even know what I am.”
“It’s quite OK,” replied the snake. “Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and work out what you are, so at least you’ll have that going for you.”
“Oh, that would be wonderful,” replied the bunny. So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said,
“Well, you’re covered with soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have a soft cottony tail. I’d say that you must be a bunny rabbit.”
“Oh, thank you! Thank you,” cried the bunny in obvious excitement. The bunny suggested to the snake,
“Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw, and help you the same way you’ve helped me.” So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked,
“Well, you’re scaly and smooth, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls. I’d say you must be either an accountant, or possibly someone in senior management.”

Who’s got it right? Welcome to the RAT race

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. A tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

“Not very long,” answered the Mexican.

“Well, then, why didn’t you stay out longer and catch
more?” asked the tourist.

The Mexican explained that his small catch was
sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The tourist asked, “But what do you do with the rest
of your time?” “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children,
and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the
village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the
guitar, and sing a few songs…I have a full life.”

The tourist interrupted, “I’m a Management Consultant
and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every
day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the
extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat. With the extra
money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a
third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of
trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can
negotiate directly with the processing plants and
maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little
village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York
City! From there you can direct your huge enterprise.”

“How long would that take?” asked the Mexican.

“Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years,” replied the tourist.

“And after that?”

“Afterwards? That’s when it gets really interesting,”
answered the tourist, laughing. “When your business
gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make
millions!”

“Millions? Really? And after that?”

“After that you’ll be able to retire, live in a tiny
village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children,
catch a few fish, take siestas with your wife, and spend your
evenings drinking and enjoying your friends.”

RE: Post a joke!

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces
height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts,
“Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an
hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man below says, “Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering
approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees
North latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees West longitude.”

“You must be an engineer,” says the balloonist.

“I am,” replies the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically
correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact
is I am still lost.”

The man below says, “You must be a manager.”

“I am,” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

“Well,” says the man, “you don’t know where you are, or where you are going.
You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect
me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you
were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault.”