BBC drops a Clanger?

I like James May, the other two are Pillocks, however, having said that, where would us ordinary chaps in the street, get to see some of the exotic cars they have on there. Their program must influence some,who will go out and purchase a car they have seen, being put through it;s paces.
Jim.
Lincoln .7

Snafu’s alright – it’s a free forum and none of us have to read his lengthy diatribes…..:) ….although I do in secret, Linc!!;)

Well I’ve learnt something from Moggy – Top Gear is a sitcom!!

Top Gear

Guess who is still sulking about a certain Porche going South, never mind Moggs, some day your ship will come in….I think the name on it will be, “Titanic”..:dev2:
Jim.
Lincoln .7

I recon snafu should have his own section on here, “snafus half hour” or Hour, depending on what you put Chas, that sets him off………:highly_amused:

Jim.
Lincoln .7

I am interested to know what else you bracket with Alf Garnet as “bad rubbish”.

Top Gear

I have to defrag my brain!

snafu, can you keep your threads shorter please, every time you post, I have to de-frag my computer….:dev2:

Jim.
Lincoln .7

“As for best, anyone remember a comedy called Whoops Apocalypse”

No.

Not Bless Thy Neighbour, then?

As for best, anyone remember a comedy called Whoops Apocalypse? Not the dire film (it really was dire) but the absolutely hysterical undire comedy that was on Channel 4 in 1982.

The series details the weeks leading up to the Apocalypse. It features a chaotic and increasingly unstable global political situation in which nuclear alerts are accidentally triggered by malfunctioning Space Invaders machines. The naive and highly unpopular Republican U.S. President Johnny Cyclops (an obvious Ronald Reagan parody, played by Barry Morse) is advised by an insane right-wing fundamentalist security advisor, called The Deacon, who claims to have a direct hotline to God. (The Deacon was so named because of the previous role of the actor who played him (John Barron) as a Cathedral Dean in the sitcom All Gas and Gaiters; the writers claimed not to know at the time that Alexander Haig, Reagan’s first Secretary of State, was known as The Vicar in the White House.)
In the Eastern Hemisphere, things are similarly unstable. Soviet Premier Dubienkin (Richard Griffiths) is in fact a series of clones, which keep dying and being replaced. Meanwhile the deposed Shah of Iran, Shah Massiq Rassim (Bruce Montague), led by his advisor Abdab (David Kelly) who is always blindfolded to avoid looking upon the Shah’s magnificence, is shunted around the world in search of a refuge (spending most of the series in a cross channel ferry’s toilet).
The main danger is the Deacon’s development of a new super-powerful American nuclear weapon. This is originally called the Johnny Cyclops Bomb; later, when the President vetoes the name, it is renamed the Quark Bomb (Formerly Known As The Johnny Cyclops Bomb After The President Of The Same Name). The Deacon arranges for Lacrobat (John Cleese), a disguised international arms smuggler nicknamed The Devil (a parody of Carlos the Jackal), to steal a Quark Bomb and take it to Iran, to help the Shah in his counterrevolution. The Soviets get word of this (via Rassim’s parrot) and decide to invade, gaining control over the world’s oil supply.
The Soviets have a new ally in British Prime Minister Kevin Pork (Peter Jones), a parody of former Labour Home Secretary Roy Jenkins. Pork, who has gone insane and believes himself to be Superman, heads an especially left-wing government (a parody of Jenkin’s Social Democratic Party). The British Foreign Secretary is blackmailed by the Soviets to join the Warsaw Pact. This situation so unnerves the foreign secretary (Geoffrey Palmer) and the Chancellor of the Exchequer (Richard Davies) that they also lose their sanity, don Green Lantern and Hawkman costumes, and are locked up in a padded cell at 10 Downing St.
The Soviets are also holding two elderly American tourists named Jonathan and Martha Hopper captive. They are constantly tortured by Commissar Alex Solzhenitsyn (“no relation”, played by Alexei Sayle) in the belief they are secretly CIA spies. This turns out to be true, but the Hoppers are crushed by a helicopter in a bungled CIA rescue operation. This does not help Cyclops’s nosediving popularity rating, which is just below that of Charles Manson. The Deacon stages an assassination attempt in order to help Cyclops’ flagging popularity (a reference to the Reagan assassination attempt the year before). It is damaged further when the speeding ambulance carrying Cyclops to the hospital accidentally runs over his highly popular main opponent, Democrat Senator Jimmy Hennessy (a parody of Senator Teddy Kennedy). By the end of the series we’re told Cyclops is now less popular than the Boston Strangler. (These developments are followed by a dramatic newsreader named Jay Garrick, and his topless female counterpart across the Atlantic.)
Eventually the Quark Bomb is accidentally detonated in Israel when Lacrobat’s attempt to prevent it being incinerated goes horribly wrong, destroying the country and killing most of the US army who were stationed there. Meanwhile the Shah, who has temporarily been given sanctuary aboard a space shuttle, manages to crash it into the Moscow Kremlin. Believing it to be a bomb, the Russians launch their weapons at America. In the final scene Soviet missiles are on their way to obliterate the United States and President Cyclops has to decide whether to retaliate. The title sequence already showed the aftermath of the decision, Earth reduced to a nuclear wasteland. In a final twist, we discover that the woman we see in the title sequence selling buttons reading “WEAR YOUR MUSHROOM WITH PRIDE” is in fact the First Lady, who was hidden in a fallout shelter and is one of the few survivors of the war.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whoops_Apocalypse

Quotes:

The Deacon: If the Lord had meant us not to panic, he wouldn’t have given us clean trousers!

President Johnny Cyclops: I don’t like the sounds of this.
The Deacon: Sir, if the Lord had meant us to like everything we heard, he wouldn’t have given us commercial radio.

Jay Garrick: Today General E.F. “Gizzard” Pemberley died when a bomb exploded under his bed. Two eighteen-year-old marines also died.

Jay Garrick: The mystery of the missing Quark Bomb has been solved. It was seen going off twenty minutes ago in what used to be Israel.

The Deacon: If the Lord had meant us to rely on geriatrics; he wouldn’t have given us the supreme court.

Premier Dubienkin: All these rumours of a food shortage are nonsense. I mean, the fact I have a dead dog in my fridge doesn’t mean anything. Why shouldn’t I have a dead dog in my fridge if I wish?
American ambassador: Yeah, it’s a free country.
[pause]
American ambassador: Sorry.

Nurse: The president shouldn’t be disturbed.
The Deacon: Well, this one is.

Jay Garrick: I’m Jay Garrick, but for how much longer?

Commisar Solzhenitsyn: You think you’re so tough?
Jed Grodd: Tougher than you can handle, Russkie.
Commisar Solzhenitsyn: We shall see.
[pause]
Commisar Solzhenitsyn: Boris, help, my back’s gone again.

Jed Grodd: We’re gonna crash!
Helicopter pilot: Sorry, sir, I was just following government policy.
Jed Grodd: What are you talking about?
Helicopter pilot: Fuel conservation. I only filled the tank half-way up!

The Deacon: If the Lord had meant us to be sensible, he wouldn’t have given us credit cards.

Jay Garrick: It’s the 3am News. I’m Jay Garrick and you’re an insomniac.

Chancellor of the Exchecquer: The Prime Minister thinks he’s Superman! We can’t keep this up, I mean look at this note, “Can’t make Question Time, Brainiac’s escaped from the phantom zone”!

[on tape we see Lacrobat disguised as a Swedish man holding an Abba album]
Lacrobat: Good day, my name’s Olaf Jokkmokk and I am Swedish. Oh dear, I’ve dropped the keys to my volvo! I represent a firm of dentists, and I first came into contact with Lacrobat last year, to inquire about an estimate for the liquidation of John McEnroe. Since then, he has wiped out five entire chains of rival dentists. That is why I always vouch for Lacrobat.

Jay Garrick: A man carrying a banner saying “The world ends tomorrow” was arrested for leaking information.

Premier Dubienkin: Russia is a great country. Many people like living in Russia. Read this
[he hands over a piece of paper]
American ambassador: “I like living in Russia.” So I see …
Premier Dubienkin: Here is a written account by two witnesses…
American ambassador: Right. Anyway …
Premier Dubienkin: And more then ten people can testify that it wasn’t written at gun point.

[Pork enters wearing a superman cape and carrying a dog]
Kevin Pork: I’m feeling under the weather.
[he walks to the window]
Kevin Pork: Come on Krypto, it’s time for your flight round the block.
[he throws the dog out the window]
Kevin Pork: You know, I feel better already.

Premier Dubienkin: Neutral countries have two options – medium or well done.

Kevin Pork: I think I’ve been over-doing things. But I had a talk with the doctor and he gave me some pills to take.
Chancellor of the Exchecquer: It’ll be for the best, Kev. I’m sure it will.
Foreign Secretary: Which doctor is this then Kev?
Kevin Pork: Doctor Destiny of Earth two. Sure; you know him. He helped me to save Lois Lane from the giant star fish of Atlantis.

Ahdab: Is that you, crown jewel of the universe?

[repeated line]
Newseader: Police raid a cafe in Brixton.

[Lacrobat promotes himself]
Lacrobat: Governments toppled, plants installed, or for that very special assassination; why not use Lacrobat?

[Lacrobat promotes himself]
Lacrobat: Lacrobat, also known as the devil. He’s called the man of a thousand faces, and I personally recommend number six hundred and four.

[Lacrobat is stopped by Motorcycle cop with the Quark Bomb disguised as a giant penis on the roof of his car]
Lacrobat: Oh, no sir, this isn’t pornography.
Motorcycle cop: It sure ain’t a tootsy roll!

[Cyclops has been shot]
President Johnny Cyclops: Oh, God. I have sinned. I have sinned!
The Deacon: Hush. He may hear you.

The Deacon: Everything went well, sir, the lobotomy wasn’t necessary.
President Johnny Cyclops: Well, I should think not. Anyone who tries to give me a lobotomy will get a piece of my mind!

Commisar Solzhenitsyn: If you do not tell us the details of your mission, you can wave goodbye to both your hands.
Politburo Member: How can he wave goodbye if you cut them off?

President Johnny Cyclops: Hell, Shah Rassim, this is president Johnny Cyclops. You may have noticed I am communicating with you by means of a parrot. This is because what I am about to tell you is of a highly confidential and secretive – are you sure he’s getting all this, Deacon? The Quark Bomb has not been stolen by a terrorist. We stole it, and gave it to a terrorist; it’s being smuggled to help you regain your rightful perch- throne! And we hope to get you off of that ferry very soon.
The Deacon: And the rest, Mr. President?
President Johnny Cyclops: P.S. Would you please, eat me?

[Lacrobat has the Quark bomb in a casket]
Lacrobat: [in fake French accent] Open that box, and be damned for all eternity!
Greek official: I’m sorry, but I have to search it, Mr …
Lacrobat: Floyjoy. Montgomery Hindenberg Floyjoy, undertaker for the stars. Mr. Bob Hope has my on a retail. My card.
Greek official: [reads] All the world’s a grave, and all the men and women merely stiffs.
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Greek official: So, you say you bury celebrities?
Lacrobat: Oui.
Greek official: Then why’s this casket so large?
[pause]
Lacrobat: It was a double act.

President Johnny Cyclops: You had me shot just to get public sympathy?
The Deacon: Sir, this will blow your popularity through the roof. Henesy and his Democrat rats won’t know what hit them.
[cut to a news broadcast]
Jay Garrick: Waves of letters of sympathy have been set after one of the most shocking and horrific acts in recent memory. Presidential candidate Jimmy Hennessy was run over by a speeding ambulance outside his home and had both his legs crushed. The ambulance contained President Johnny Cyclops, who was said to have only received flesh wounds after being shot at a TV taping this afternoon.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083502/trivia?tab=qt&ref_=tt_trv_qu

Still, it was difficult to get on video, even more so on DVD and I can’t find it on YouTube, so you’ll just have to take my word for it.

….Can’t remember who did! But they haven’t responded…..

I know…………..:D

Jim.
Lincoln .7

But it wasn’t you who made the original statement, Linc…..

I am interested to know what else you bracket with Alf Garnet as “bad rubbish”.

Last of the Summer wine, and Dads Army,

Jim.
Lincoln .7

Require a second opinion on that, please.

He’s got more sense!!;)

Only recently……?:p

At least since last October…;o)

Snafu got it earlier in #18.

Ha – proof that Charles does read my posts and Moggy doesn’t![/gloat]

But as he works shifts perhaps his post was the first thing he did as soon as he had logged on, unable to restrain himself from expressing his disgust at the sheer depravity implicit in your original post. He couldn’t resist further comment a few posts later “You know, the quality of posts around here has recently dropped…” Poor old Snafu……!:rolleyes::eek:

You are quite correct Ten hours six minutes. 🙂

Moggy

Snafu got it earlier in #18.