Marriage…

The good Doctor may be convinced himself that he is right and others will be equally convinced that he is utterly wrong.

Whoaa, dude!!!

The problem here is that generally singlies and people that have experienced break ups are going to say don’t do it, and those that are married or living with someone are going to say it’s great – the truth of course is somewhere in the middle.

Re the generation thing, I suppose interest in marriage has never changed, but years ago the social pressure to get married was far stronger than it is now.
Personally I think commitment is about living with someone, with some compromise, the actual marriage papers are irrelevant if everything else isok, blinding excuse for a drink and some cake if you do do it though!

The other argument is that younger people nowadays have little interest in religion, I have no interest in any form of religion myself

When I get married, it will be in a church and a proper traditional ceremony etc

With respect young man, isn’t this being a little two faced?. You quite clearly state you have no interest in any form of religion, yet wish to get married in a Church. If this is what you genuinly think, then why not get married in a Registery Office instead of just using the Church for appearences sake ?.because thats all it is.

Lincoln .7

Dr Strangelove

You need to stop sitting on the fence and tell us what you really mean.

Baz:diablo:

The Dr’s orders on this one are very straight forward indeed-

Don’t do it.

Marriage is no more than a licence for someone who was little more than a perfect stranger a few years previous, to rip you off for most of your stuff & more importantly your home.
It has nothing nothing to do with commitment, just having a flaming anvil placed around your neck.
Normally I’m open minded to any debate except this one, where I know I’m right.
In fact I’d go as far to suggest that you don’t even let them live at your gaff either, because there is now an avenue for the “bleeding you dry” procedure to commence only after a few months.
Marriage may very well work for some, but be careful, these days that appears to be the exception rather than the rule.
I found out the hard way, but luckily I managed to hang on to my possessions & cash…just, all hinged on custody of my daughter, never again.

I see the misery this dishonorable estate causes & during the holy deadlock the bloke tends to get a hefty legal boot in the crackers.

Commitment you say? Need to be committed I say.

My partner and I have been together for 23 years this month. I like to think that we are truly committed to each other and are truly happy. Sure we’ve been through some bad times, who hasn’t, but we’re still ‘ere. We’ve talked about making it official, but really, why spoil a good thing? Over the years I watched the marriages of my closest circle of friends turn into a living nightmare, we’ve had more than one of them booking a place in our spare room at different times! Out of the 5 of my very long term friends, only one still remains happily married. I guess it depends a lot on the individual of course, so it can be very easy to generalise. However, we totally respect those who do choose to marry. As for me and the ‘other one’?, well, we’ve decided that if we ever felt the need for a big day out with bubbly and a big cake, we’d fling open the patio doors and make it bring a bottle! Wear a silly hat and a suit if you must, oh what the hell, make it a vicar and tarts party and be done with it……..more fun than a wedding any day!

to be honest i have always looked on religion as a manipulating tool to control people from an age before police forces and councils

to a point some of thier ideals are sound and good to live your life by

but get into a discusion with any firm supporter of religion and you will get vehement arguments about why it is right

even if you argued the opposite point they would twist the opposite argument around from another bible/ koran whatever fairy story !!

i feel marriage is totaly irrelavent however people starting to accept responsibility for their actions regarding serious relationships with other people would go a long way

What a stupid remark. If you had explained the circumstances in your earlier post I would hardly have made the comment I did. And saying that you doubt something does not impune the source as a liar.

Now that that is quite clear, I still stand by the points I made, the more so for learning that the story is true.

Firsrtly the storty of the deacon, if true, which I doubt.

Interesting that you, who was not there, can call one of my friends (who, at the time, worked for the church, was an eye witness to the event, and is a lifelong committed Christian) a liar.

The marriage certificate is simply a piece of paper, to keep bureaucrats happy (and in a job.) Many years ago, a young firebrand deacon caused the local blue-rinse brigade to almost have apoplexy, leaving them gaping like fish out of water, when, during a “It’s not a proper marriage, unless it’s in church” debate, he said, “Ladies, the ceremony is meaningless; it’s the bunk-up, in the bed afterwards, which makes it official.” You have sex, you’re married, it’s as simple as that (at least it used to be) in the eyes of the church.
Edgar

As an atheist I am a disinterested party, but I would make two points. Firsrtly the storty of the deacon, if true, which I doubt, suggests that the deacon needed a great deal of re-training or better still, a new job. Secondly marriage, in the eyes of the church, is a deeply religious ceremony, with vows being made in the name of the deity.

The marriage certificate is simply a piece of paper, to keep bureaucrats happy (and in a job.) Many years ago, a young firebrand deacon caused the local blue-rinse brigade to almost have apoplexy, leaving them gaping like fish out of water, when, during a “It’s not a proper marriage, unless it’s in church” debate, he said, “Ladies, the ceremony is meaningless; it’s the bunk-up, in the bed afterwards, which makes it official.” You have sex, you’re married, it’s as simple as that (at least it used to be) in the eyes of the church.
Edgar

Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell – been together years, but never married.

:

probably a bad example they’re allegedley presently having problems !!

and no strangers to wandering in the past !!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-7585/Kurt-Russell-vice-shame.html

i’m a commited bachelor , i havent made the same mistake once !!:)

Your friend is right, Daz – nowadays it is NOT worth the paper it is written on – that’s the problem.

Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell – been together years, but never married.

Friend of mine reckons a marriage isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.

Myself? I dunno. I would like to find some nice filly and settle down, but I’m not hugely fussed with the idea of marriage. Don’t want kids, either.

:rolleyes:

Best and worst thing I ever did…. we married mainly for having children, not sure of the morality on that but hey ho.

It is SO easy to get out of though. I saw a solictor, she says you have to wait two years, but its REALLY REALLY over, Ok, job done….. Sept 2010 to Jan 2011 without setting foot in a court.

Its an admin process and I believe in my heart that if it was made more difficult, people (like my Ex) would try harder.

Marriage is great. I just keep on doing it.

Moggy

We met at uni, several friends also got together then, we got married 4 years ago and the only reason we could really and honestly give was (and still is) it feels right. The wedding didn’t cost an arm and a leg, it wasn’t cheap either, but it was a fantastic day.

Incidentally all our friends also got married so that summer we had 7 wedding to go to.

We all have mortgages, work hard and have kids. Times have been tough, even in the 8 years before we got married but we’ve managed to get through them and intend to carry on doing so.

Whilst there is this worry about marriage and all that you only really hear about the ones that go wrong, not all the ones that have happily and successfully lasted 1,5,10,20,50 years.

Plus I don’t think my wife wants a new model as she would have to train him all over again.

Refreshing to hear Nashio expressing those views. I believe the UK has the highest percentage of unmarried couples and single parents and the highest divorce rate in the West. I am a firm believer in the conventional “nuclear” family and nothing has yet persuaded me from that view. I think a major contributory factor to the disrupted society in which we live is the devaluing of traditional family life and the lack of responsibility in becoming and being parents.

I think the age argument, largely is invalid 🙂 It depends on upbringing in my opinion. Im 23 (just) When I find the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, have children with and grow old with – I’ll get married to her 🙂 I would never have children with someone I wasnt married to 🙂 Thats just me, imo its the right thing to do.

The other argument is that younger people nowadays have little interest in religion, I have no interest in any form of religion myself (apart from science) I dont see marriage as a commitment before god etc, yet when I do get married, I will get married in a church and have the proper traditional ceremony etc 🙂

Its not a commitment to a deity in my opinion, its a commitment to eachother 🙂

My best friend co-incidentally proposed to his girlfriend today, do I see it lasting? No 🙁

They’ve been going out for a couple of years, have they lived together, ever? No imo therin lies the problem. Tbh I cant see the rush to get married at 23, got ages to live life first!

When I get married, it will be in a church and a proper traditional ceremony etc