Things we have learned from TV

VDU screens are so bright, people have reflections on their faces of every character.

networks and PC’s are oh so fast and never hang (NCIS etc)

“Log onto their mainframe and give his bank details and footage from the CCTV”

“on the screen now boss.!”

It’s quite easy to jump through a window. Not only that, but you’ll emerge pretty unscathed….

Bombs and other such countdown timers are only ever stopped in the last 3 seconds.

You can copy the entire contents of a PC’s hard drive onto a memory stick in less than two minutes. And then shut the PC down instantly just before the owner walks back into their office.

You can control nearly any emergency in an office block by logging on to its mainframe and typing like mad. The bigger the emergency the faster you have to type.

Actually, that pretty-much still applies around my village! :diablo:

Sweeet! :diablo:

All village girls in the 18th or 19th Century have heaving bosoms and are generally Satan’s willing lapdogs…

Actually, that pretty-much still applies around my village! :diablo:

Whenever a bunch of people get Blown-up .. they all regain consciousness within a few seconds of each other unless they are unknown extras , they .. stay dead !

You can create total and utter havoc while chasing criminals/enemy agents, and there will be absolutely no paperwork to fill in….

There is no threat to national security that MI5 can’t defeat in less than 48 hours and with only six people.

That a small jolt, or knock can damage an unbreakable piece of equipment.

Wherever Poirot goes on holiday you can guarantee there will be a murder.

In an action sequence, any innocent bystander will always just get out of a car before it explodes/ is crushed by a tank etc.

Midsomer has more murders per 100 people than certain areas of Manchester.

Any Brit in an American show is either an Upper-class twit a la Boris Johnson, or a Cockney.

In a war film “ze Germans vill be most of ze time speeking ze Eeenglish”

No matter how heavily fortified a door may be, it usually only takes one push with the foot to smash it off its hinges.

a.. people in a line at a shop or post office always chat to each other.
b…people in a pub can always chat to each other in a normal volume and tone because everyone else in the pub is very quiet.
c..the jukebox or telly in the pub is always just in the background and never stops you hearing what is being said.
d..in a wild stormy night you can always see enough clearly to climb up the bank of the river or escape from danger in a wood.
e..Every security point will have barriers made of balsa wood and guards who cannot possibly hit a car from 10 feet away.

If you’re of a religious persuasion, it’s more or less guaranteed that, in times of crisis, you’ll be viewed as some sort of lunatic while you talk about “retribution” and “punishment”…

If you are a WW2 pilot, owning a dog is a supremely bad idea.

Moggy

Abby can crack any crypto used by any uber-seekrit guvmint agency in time for Jethro and the Mossad babe to get the bad guy every time!

(Guess who’s been watching NCIS reruns!:cool:)

cant sleep so watching casualty on bbc1

two nurses..one of whom’s dad has just died are driving an old Ford mustang on the motorway, no seat belts, no tax, no insurance etc

basicly they walked into a garage on an industrial estate, put the keys in the ignition and drove off

must be a benefit of being a nurse

If a film contains ANY Armed Forces other than the US, then they’ll lose for sure!

It is possible to drink a whole mug of hot coffee merely by dabbing the rim briefly against your lips.

Received telephone calls are always very short but convey an awful lot of information in about a nano-second.

Scene:

Phone rings. Actor (probably detective) picks up phone. “Hello”…one second pause, then: “Right!” replaces phone and then relates a huge amount of detail gleaned in said conversation to fellow detective. Details of felon’s marital status, car registration number, where he bought the car, its type and colour, who recently re-sprayed it, where he works/was last seen, previous offences, details of ongoing pursuit down Highway 21, location of felon’s victim, bank account details and what he had for breakfast are breatlessly blurted out to the other detective…..who seems less than surprised that his partner has gleaned so much data in under one second between “Hello” and “Right!”

How do they do that?:)

Whenever a car is driven around corners through towns the wheels screech and when a car does a perfectly safe stop it’s tyres will screech but wheels carry on turning ok.