Would you believe it ….?

People in those situations require alot of support from friends and family.

Of course they do; I’m not disputing that but what I am saying is there are ways people can help themselves to get out of situations like that and start to think more positively. From my own experience I’ve had plenty of times in my life where I’ve been quite down and even mildly depressed, and they’ve been brought on by all kinds of things; lack of work, various friends dying, etc. The help and support of friends really can be invaluable and certain people on this very forum have helped me get through such times in the not too distant past, but ultimately it has to be you who changes how you think about things. If someone doesn’t want to be helped then no amount of external influence will really make a difference. In my case, getting back into thinking more positively is generally a result of realising I’m a very, very lucky person and in all truth I don’t have that much to complain about, although sometimes it does take someone else to point that out before it clicks into place again. It’s amazing how much most people have to be thankful for if they really think about it, and if they do think about it, they’ll generally realise that. It just takes a slight shift in the way you think.

Paul

I think the thing with heslop01 is that he has alot on his shoulders, so the bullying is just one thing, but with the addition of the other things he has listed the bullying just becomes another problem in his life that he wishes he didnt have. The bullying can bring on self confidence issues and cause people to hate themselves, self harm, cause eating disorders etc.

People in those situations require alot of support from friends and family.

You’re right there,mate.

I don’t want to sound rude but telling someone who’s self harming to be thankful what they’ve got doesn’t usually work

I’m sure not but I wasn’t really referring to anything as extreme as that. I’m more referring to people who get teased at school and think they have it rough as a result. There are people who have it far worse!

Paul

I don’t want to sound rude but telling someone who’s self harming to be thankful what they’ve got doesn’t usually work – God knows I tried it with my daughter a million times.You just have to focus on the certainty that you WILL get through this time,nothing lasts forever and in time things will be so much better.I went through Hell for several years with her but now she’s outwardly OK and enjoying life again.The root of the problem is simply that she really doesn’t like herself all that much. Why that happened and how to cure it is quite beyond me.

I really am an older type then because I’m actually twelve.

” Us older types ” !! Look, I told you already,my HUSBAND is an older type.People who like Nightwish and Linkin Park are Forever Young.Who am I kidding ? When I went to get my senior’s ticket at the aviation fair where I got my flying boat books yesterday I certainly wasn’t asked to prove my age.But they did let me in free because I’m a lady and I thought that only happened in nightclubs ! Anyway I’d much rather be thought cynical than naïve .

Sorry that you took the remark about older types the wrong way. Like a good wine or violin we mellow with age. I agree about being forever young, I stopped maturing at 11 and I have no intention of changing for anyone.

Sorry for sounding pessimistic, but not all kids from my era have it easy.

Do you think I want to go out and get stabbed?
Do I like being called names and looked at school for being the fat one?
Do I like having to put up with social pressure from the media telling us all that it’s our fault that there is so much crime and that every kid needs an ASBO?

Robbie, those things you speak of have been around for a lot longer than you realise (media apart). I’m sorry, but do you think you’re the only kid in the world to be teased? I went through school as the guy who hated football and hated the majority of the tossers he went to school with. Guess how I was treat! The truth is I simply didn’t care because I was smart enough to know it was just a tiny window of discomfort in my life and I’d come out of the other end of it a stronger and more focussed person, which I did. I focussed my energies (much as you say you do) on music, and that now takes me pretty much all over the world while many of the football loving yobs I went to school with are sitting in their local pub on a Friday night hunting out people to start fights with. Who’s in the better situation? Me being paid to fly around the panet doing something I love pretty much as a direct result of not giving a crap about those idiots at school, or the ones who’ve never progressed in anything due to their own ignorance? In all truth, the fact I didn’t really fit in at school probably helped me as it made me more determined to succeed at what I’d chosen to do.

It’s unfortunate when people get teased; it really is. I’ve been there and I didn’t particularly like it but believe me, if you use that negative energy to your advantage it will be you who comes out on top. You’re not the only one in that situation, so continue channelling your energy into what you love doing and you’ll be laughing your vocal cords off at the idiots you leave behind you in the dust. 🙂

Just one minor point as well… You are indeed being pessimistic. There are always people far, far more worse off than you. Be thankful for the things you have because there are countless millions out there who have far, far less. I’m extremely thankful I’ve been somehow given a musical ability I’ve been able to develop so far, and you should be damned thankful for your abilities too! Not everyone has them. 😉

Paul

Its true – thinking too much can cause you alot of problems.

If singing helps, then thats brilliant. Its one way for you to portray emotion I guess. Its good that you have something that makes you happy and it sounds like you’re successful with it too.:cool:

The thing that helps me a lot is singing, i’ve had a great load os experience in that field – best one was standing singing as a choir for Rod Stewart in front of 25 000 people.

My daughter’s psychiatrist once said to me,” the trouble is,she thinks too much ” and I think there’s a lot of truth in that.What helped her enormously was taking up martial arts.The support she got from her class made a big difference.

heslop01,
Sounds like you’ve had it rough for quite a while.
I really hope that things improve for you. Its good to see that you can see a psychologist and I hope they help you. Important thing is not to give up. Try to keep positive. Make maximum use of your psychologist and talk to them about everything. Sometimes having someone to listen can really help.

It means like, cutting, puching, biting oneself etc

Self harming ?

With reference to kids having it tough, i’ve put mine in * – * so to make it fairer. If you read it, then thats your choice. If not then thats fine.
*

1. When I was 12 my sister got diagnosed with dilated cardiomyopathy and my family and I were told automatically that she needed a heart transplant.
2. During that time, with all of that on my shoulders I was, for my 9th consecutive year in school, being bullied
3. I then had to put up with the death of my grandad from my mums side a year later
4. In year 10, I made friends with someone who gave me a lot of grief and made such irrational decisions in attempting suicide more than three times so during that time, I started to self harm.
5. I then in year 11 lost a friend to suicide then my aunt got diagnosed with breast cancer
6. I was then having to deal with the loss of that friend and feeling down
7. Last year I lost my other grandad which was extremely painful becuase it was him who inspired me to speak Spanish and to learn to respect foreign people and to learn their culture and language
8. In June last year, I was then diagnosed with epilepsy caused by stress and anxiety. I have to cope with having vacant episodes where I can’t respond to my parents and fall asleep.
9. I have a psychologist who I talk to about another large problem which is on my shoulders, that problem being making myself vomit after eating. *

Yes but they do comments personally ! But how do they focus their thoughts?

When my daughter was cutting herself she just couldn’t think logically.They need a lifetime of patience and lots of love.

Should say I’m referring to my daughter – forgive me,brain not in gear today.

I don’t think anyone’s suggesting young people today have it easy – if anything,it’s the complete opposite.The point is that,in simple terms,we had a more ” natural ” childhood.I know from personal experience just how much pressure young people have on them – mainly from time spent in the psychiatrist’s office trying to work out exactly why she was cutting herself to ribbons.But she came through it,and though I wouldn’t relive that time for a million pounds,it was a life-shaping experience for both of us .Young adulthood can be a very hard time,but try not to take any comments too personally.

Yes but they do comments personally ! But how do they focus their thoughts?

I don’t think anyone’s suggesting young people today have it easy – if anything,it’s the complete opposite.The point is that,in simple terms,we had a more ” natural ” childhood.I know from personal experience just how much pressure young people have on them – mainly from time spent in the psychiatrist’s office trying to work out exactly why she was cutting herself to ribbons.But she came through it,and though I wouldn’t relive that time for a million pounds,it was a life-shaping experience for both of us .Young adulthood can be a very hard time,but try not to take any comments too personally.

It is what you make it! you have greater ops than we did.;)