Aviation? Whats that got to do with things?

“My point is that very often ‘life’ in a British prison actually means roughly 25 years “

I think it’s less now. Around 7-10 years maybe?

Dunno how much he’ll get, but I just hope he is either in solitary, or walking around a normal prison…..

“the premier Fighter of World War II, The Legendary Super marine Spitfire”

Right…..

Of course.

Thars roight bor.

Too many to search through Ham burglar. Be a sport and repost your pic and nationality here will ya? I would look for it, only, I can’t be bothered tonight. Long day etc.

Beetroot? How? Why?

I forgot the piockled walnuts with the cheese. Thank God for rehearsals.

And, you cheeky bugger, I don’t get rolled to bed. I just fall asleep in front of the fire with a dog sitting on my back, a crushed and ripped hat stuck on my bald head, gravy on my shirt and beer on me trousers. That’s the tradition.

I meant I’d be at work when he shoots the truffles.

Actually, I was lying.

After a slap up breakfast of FULL English fry-up – see previous post on breakfasts – and Croissants, coffee etc, it’s down to the beach to photograph the Christmas swim. (Bunch of pics in the local rag, loads of print orders etc. One year, ten minutes netted me half a page (free advertising!) £45 in print sales, and two weddings for the following summer. That was about a hundred quid a minute in my pocket. And it is a great atmosphere.

Christmas dinner will be at mum’s house (NOBODY does Christmas dinner as well as mum! You all know that’s true in your hearts.)

Starter is likely to be Avocado Monte Carlo (prawns and Avocado).

Turkey. Great big 30lb bird, stuffed with a home made stuffing comprising sausage meat, onions and herbs – guaranteed to warm the house for days after – and slow roasted in dripping, with foil covering it, and a bit of salt rubbed into the skin to make it crispy. Turkey left to rest afterwards to draw the mositure back into the flesh. A definite neccessity. Also cooked with this will be loads of chipolata’s, wrapped with strips of streaky bacon.

Potatoes. Par-boiled and then roasted in the same pan that old Mr Turkey is wallowing in.

Yorkshire puddings. Home made and plentiful. And a bit of suet pudding – nice and crunchy!

Broccoli, runner beans, peas, carrots (not for me – I am an insomniac, so the last thing I want is to be able to see in the dark. Never get any bloody sleep if its always light!). Please also note that I do not consume sprouts. They are an abomination.

Finished off with lashings of gravy with sliced mushrooms in it.

A bit of bread pudding, a dollop of cranberry sauce, a glass of white wine (choice of which is left to the wife – being a frog). Along with the wine will be a pint of something cold – I’m thinking of something Belgian for me this year.

Then, cram that christmas pud in the space above the stomach and below the heart, with brandy sauce and brandy butter.

Now comes time for the cheeseboard. Stilton and port anyone? You can have any port in a storm, but for christmas it has to be Cockburns! This of course finalises the massive cheese platter consisting of maybe 20 types – from Cheddar to stilton, Brie to Rocquefort, Danish Blue and Swiss Emmental. A few white grapes (seedless). Probably all consumed with a nice red – perhaps bordeaux, merlot or shiraz.

Then it’s wrapped up and topped off with a fart, a belch and a cigar!

Bon appetit people!

Mark.