GeforceRE: FHM 100 Sexiest Women 2002
Ohh, Jennifer Aniston is not that good looking. She was 10 years ago … we need fresh meat }>
GeforceRE: FHM 100 Sexiest Women 2002
[updated:LAST EDITED ON 24-05-02 AT 09:04Â PM (GMT)]Yeah but Jenifer Aniston is already a grandmother; I mean, she isn’t exactlyn 22 anymore, is she? Thanks to tons of make-up, she still looks like she’s young, but she’s not.
Where’s Gwyneth Paltrow ???
This list is not complete, maybe we’ll have to wait untill the votes from Florida arrive. 🙂
GeforceRE: Bush in Europe —
Yeah, Bush was hilarious. Who needs Jay Leno if you have W 🙂
“I like to thank germany because they are a peace loving democracy … “tell us something we don’t know. I mean, democracy is longer in Europe than in the US, maybe this ##### works in texas but not here 🙂
I just hoped he would say “Ich bin ein berliner” (I am a sweet roll) 😀
How longer I listen to Bush, how stronger my feelings get that he really IS STUPID 🙂
But on the other hand, it’s a nice change on the boring speech from Schroder.
It’s so funny to hear him saying “fight against terror”, i mean the man couldn’t even fight a pretzel }> :7 }>
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GeforceRE: What Languages do you speak?
Good luck with the translation.
Dutch is such a nice language, discovered by a drunk english sailor who tried to speak German.
Try to find the meaning of this word : “hottentottententententoonstelling”
GeforceMore
A Dutch joke about Belgians:
Q: Why wasn’t Jesus born in Belgium?
A: God couldn’t find three wise men in Belgium.
(source: a colleague’s friend in Holland)
A pair of Missouri jokes about Arkansas:
Q: What’s considered foreplay in Arkansas?
A: When the man says, “Brace yourself, Linda Lou.”
(source: Johnny Carson’s list of state jokes collected by his staff and aired about 6 years ago)
Q: How do you tell if an Arkansas girl is old enough to marry?
A: Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top, she’s old enough. If it isn’t, cut the barrel down a bit.
(source: ???? I was raised in Missouri–I heard this one about 10 years ago)
A standard one:
Q: Why did God make North Dakota?
A: To protect Canada from South Dakota!
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GeforceThe Englishman, Frenchman, Texan, And Mexican.
The Englishman, Frenchman, Texan, And Mexican.
January 5, 2000
An airplane was flying across the Atlantic ocean with four passengers aboard. There was an Englishman, a Frenchman, a Texan, and a Mexican.
Towards the end of the trip, the plane flew into stormy weather, and lightning struck the wing. The pilot wrenched the plane back under control, but they were losing altitude fast. Even after dumping all the luggage and nonessentials out the door, the plane still couldn’t possibly make it to land.
The pilot called back to his passengers, saying, “The situation’s pretty grim, gentlemen. One of you will have to bail out. Take one of the parachutes and a life vest, and we’ll send someone to pick you up once we land.”
The Englishman decided to bail out. Strapping on a parachute, he threw the door open, and shouted “GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!” and leapt from the plane.
The plane did better after that, but was still too heavy. The pilot called back and said, “I’m afraid someone else will have to jump.”
The Frenchman decided to jump next. He strapped on a parachute, threw the door open, and shouted “VIVA LA FRANCE!” as he flew into the ocean below.
A bit later, land came into sight, but the plane was losing altitude too fast to make it. The pilot called back, saying “If just one more of you bails out, we will be safe.”
So the Texan strapped on a parachute, and striding bravely towards the open door of the plane, shouted “REMEMBER THE ALAMO!” – and shoved the Mexican out.
GeforceIraqi Tv
Iraqi Television Schedule
January 21, 2000
MONDAYS:
8:00 Husseinfeld
8:30 Mad About Everything
9:00 Suddenly Sanctions
9:30 The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show
10:00 Allah McBeal
TUESDAYS:
8:00 Wheel of Fortune and Terror
8:30 The Price is Right If Saddam Says It’s Right
9:00 Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things
9:30 Iraq’s Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers
10:00 Buffy The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer
WEDNESDAYS:
8:00 U.S. Military Secrets Revealed
8:30 When Kurds Attack
9:00 Two Guys, a Girl, and a Fatwah
9:30 Just Shoot Me
10:00 Veilwatch
THURSDAYS:
8:00 Matima Loves Chachi
8:30 M*U*S*T*A*S*H
9:00 Veronica’s Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses
9:30 My Two Baghdads
10:00 Diagnosis: Heresy
FRIDAYS:
8:00 Everybody Loves Saddam Or He’ll Have Them Shot
8:30 Only Our Will and Grace From God Can Keep Us From Touching Each Other
9:00 Captured Iranian Soldiers Say the Darndest Things
9:30 Achmed’s Creek
10:00 Matlock
GeforcePierre (bad joke)
Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It’s a beautiful day and love is in the air.
Marie leans over to Pierre and says: “Pierre, kiss me!”
Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie’s lips.
“What are you doing, Pierre?”, says the startled Marie.
“I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I like to have red wine!”
She smiles and they start kissing.
When things began to heat up a little, Marie says, “Pierre, kiss me lower.”
Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her breasts.
“Pierre! What are you doing?”, asks the bewildered Marie
. “I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I like to have white wine!”
They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, “Pierre, kiss me lower!”
Our hero rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap. He then strikes a match and lights it on fire.
Marie shrieks and dives into the river. Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms upwards and screams furiously, “PIERRE, WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?”
Our hero stands up, defiantly, and says, “I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! When I go down, I go down in flames!”
GeforceRE: More US stuff
The US State Mottos
January 5, 2000
1)Alabama: At Least We’re not Mississippi
2)Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can’t be Wrong!
3)Arizona: Dehyd-rific!
4)Arkansas: Litterasy Ain’t Everthing
5)California: Se Habla Ingles
6)Colorado: If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother
7)Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character
8)Florida: The Gunshine State
9)Georgia: We Put the “Fun” in Fundamentalist Extremism
10)Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha’ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
11)Idaho: Famous Potatoes … and Neo-Nazis
12)Illinois: Gateway to Iowa
13)Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
14)Iowa: Land of James T. Kirk
15)Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
16)Kentucky: Five Million People, Fifteen Last Names
17)Louisiana: We’re Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That’s Our Tourism Campaign
18)Maine: For Sale
19)Maryland: A Thinking Man’s Delaware
20)Massachusetts: The Sue Me State
21)Michigan: First Line of Defense From the Canadians
22)Minnesota: Land of 7,000 lakes and 3,000 man-made ponds
23)Mississippi: Come Feel Better About Your Own State
24)Missouri: You’re Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work
25)Montana: Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomer, and Very Little Else
26)Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
27)Nevada: Whores and Poker!
28)New Hampshire: Go Away and Leave Us Alone
29)New Jersey: You Want a ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!
30)New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets
31)New York: You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney
32)North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable
33)North Dakota: Um… We’ve got… Um… Dinosaur Bones? Yeah, Dinosaur Bones!
34)Ohio: Don’t Judge Us by Cleveland
35)Oklahoma: Like the Play Only No Singing
36)Oregon: Spotted Owl, It’s What’s For Dinner
37)Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
38)Rhode Island: We’re Not REALLY An Island
39)South Carolina: Incest is Best
40)South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
41)Tennessee: The Educashun State
42)Texas: Don’t Mess with Texas — We’re Armed
43)Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
44)Vermont: Yep
45)Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don’t Mix?
46)Washington: Keep Washington Green, Grow Hemp
47)Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
48)West Virginia: One Big Happy Family — Really!
49)Wisconsin: Come Cut Our Cheese
50)Wyoming: Wynot?
GeforceRE: Pim has won the elections, now 2nd largest par
I would also have voted D’66 probably (leftie and liberal).
Anyway, it seems like your Harry Potter (Balkenende) will become the new PM. At least a name which will sound less silly in the foreign country (de Kok :-)).
I think a coalition between CDA, VVD and LPF would be the best option, but than I guess you’ll all have to vote again next year for the re-elections.
GeforceRE: International criminal court.US do not any par
Because there are no criminals in the US. Criminals only come from rogue states or the axis of evil
GeforceRE: Cheeta pictures
[updated:LAST EDITED ON 14-05-02 AT 03:55 PM (GMT)]80 % of the French wine is also disgusting, you pay for what you get. Guiness is nice beer, btw, but it’s a pity there are more calories in one pint than in a whole thanksgiving meal 🙂
tanzania I pronounce tenzani’ja
GeforceRE: What Languages do you speak?
Comet,
Nederlands is een aartsmoeilijke taal. Ik weet zeker dat je niets begrijpt van wat ik hier nu zit te zeveren, maar dat komt heus nog wel. Als je Duits al moeilijk vindt, raad ik je echter niet aan Nederlands te beginnen. Daarom dat de Nederlanders en de Belgen waarschijnlijk ook één van de slimste volkeren op aarde zijn.
Difficult? 🙂
GeforceRE: What Languages do you speak?
Well, my 3 official languages :
Dutch, French and German.
English
the basics of Spanish and Afrikaans
Latin and ancient Greek
GeforceRE: Cheeta pictures
Nice pictures, Mongu.
It’s my third time in SA and still I haven’t seen anything. The continent is so huge, you have no imagination. I don’t know where to start. Kruger was nice for a couple of days, but my brother says Botswana and Namibia are the ultimate challenge. Mozambique is also pretty nice, but I haven’t been in any of those countries (just Zimbabwe). My brother has had the chance to travel a lot, and he said Madagascar was probably the best he had ever seen. He’s in Perth at the moment, but I hope he can give me more info on Tanzania.
If I were you, I’d buy that condo in Cape Town. Cape town itself is nice, but I prefer the small towns just outside CT itself, like Stellenbosh and Franshoek (superb and delicious wine, better than France).
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