Some twenty years ago i worked all over the country installing equipment in steel Foundries that could reclaim the sand from the casting process.On one particular week ,I was working at a foundry in South Shields with my friend Dave ,putting pipe work at the dark bottom end of a huge factory.
Every dinnertime ,this old chap with flat cap,pipe and a very pronounced limp, would hobble over to us and ask if we wanted to join him for dinner in his`little `ut , close to where we were working.He`d asked us this every day and we normally politely refused as we used the main canteen.On the very last day he came over as usual ,but feeling guilty as he normally had no one to talk to,we accepted his offer to join him for dinner.He was very pleased for the company and proceeded to hobble back to the dark corner of the foundry to his tiny portacabin.As we followed ,he told us he had no Kettle or drinks machine,we told him we`d get him one, and Dave proceeded to the Klix machine to get 3 black coffees.
I followed the old chap to this tiny cabin which was mostly occupied by a large formica table in the middle,which the chap edged around to sit facing me on the bench the other side.
Polited chit chat ensued as he bent down fiddling under the table.To my great surprise, he produced two artificial legs from under the table he`d unstrapped to “let `is stumps breath” and he plonked them onto the bench next to him.The conversation naturally turned to how he`d lost his legs in an accident at the same factory years ago but they`d kept him on to sort and stack the casting patterns.
Unbeknown to me, Dave had returned behind me ,and ,gawping at these false legs had failed to negotiate the portacabin step with the tray of drinks.
All three cups of scalding black coffee flew off the tray as he tripped ,and cascaded across the table into this old chaps lap.
The chaps face contorted instantly and his scream was muffled by the lit pipe dangling from the corner of his mouth.Sparks flew out of the pipe !! and his instant reaction,as anybody elses would be, was to stand up.
Not having his appendages attached, he plummeted down as fast as he`d stood, his fall being broken as his chin came into contact with the hard table top.His false teeth shattered as they guillotined his pipe,the smoking remnant spinning across the table.The poor chap ,he was in a right state and had to be taken to casualty with genital burns,bruised stumps and a damaged jaw. We felt really guilty leaving him like that….but did have to keep pulling over on our return journey as we were laughing so much !!
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