skegness can be nice this time of year typhoons flying over daily and smack in the middle of historic bomber country.

Right, I’ll do it….. Harry is forced to flee Hogwarts for a new life in America, he boards a giant ship at Southampton, upon which he meets an attractive aristocratic girl with whom he falls in love and they embark upon a steamy affair whilst at sea.

Unfortunately the ship is buzzed by passing alien space craft and in the confusion the captain steers it straight into a giant iceberg, holing it right down the starboard side. The ship turns completely upside down, forcing all aboard to navigate their way through upturned corridors and passages, looking for a way out, led by the bold Harry. Harry discovers his spiritual side, shaves off all his hair and dresses in an old bed sheet, changes his name to Handie and ends the relationship with said aristocratic girl who ages dramatically at the news !

Eventually the survivors find a way out onto the upturned hull, only to find they have been surrounded by bounty hunters and shark experts filming a shark weekend special for Discovery Channel. In the distance Handie can see the Coast, and another film crew making a documentary about it for BBC-2. If he can lead the survivors there, all will be well. They commandeer a small boat and head off, singing a drinking song to bolster their spirits. A giant great white shark attacks the boat, eating all of the survivors apart from Handie and an elderly gentleman who turns out to be Handie’s long lost father !

Handie and father, reach the safety of the coast but are captured by German agents and flown by Junkers Ju-52 to an alpine castle where they are imprisoned as spies. They form an escape plan, stealing a pair of stormtrooper uniforms to help them get out unoticed. A girl wearing two danish pastries on her head helps them, along with a tin man and a lion they follow a colour coded path which takes them deep underground to a land occupied by dinosaurs. One of the dinosaurs is the guitarist in the Rolling Stones and enlists the use of some pirates, led by his son Jack to help get Handie and Co. to safety.

Handie, by now a hardened rum swilling cynic, resorts to his real name again and makes a bid for freedom along with his dad in an airship. Sadly it crashes and all aboard are signed up for a tv mini series called ‘Harry and the Magic Franchise’. Harry gets married to a ginger girl who once played the flute at band camp and settles down in Springfield, Vermont where he and his new bride open a store selling apple pie !

The pie has the tastiest “d’oh” around and after several years as a family guy, Harry becomes married with children and an american dad.

His favourite wedding present is a potty adorned with question marks. This later will provide the inspiration for a new book ‘Harry and the Chamber Pot of Doom’ !

The End !:eek:

vocation missed

ps i heard that that it all started when some bloke shot an ostrich because he was hungry:D

..i guess i’ll be from here on in known as a redneck

No just a black and white back.lol
Look up bobby thompson or roy chubby brown for your kindred county men comics.
say that after a shiraz:D 😀

Does the computer automatically accept any name that a new member might offer or does it have to be authorised in the first instance? My question arises from the name of our latest member, HotLesbianBabes, cannot see an aeronautical connection immediately?:confused:

I was looking forward to hotlesbianbabes first post too.Ahhhh well ill have to wait for steves what he had for lunch pick posts.

I worked the clubs where bernard played,ive met the man on numerous occasions and found him to be kind generous and very witty.On the racism well he never came across as a bigot off stage, he took the p*** out of all of us no matter what our colour.
I find it a shame he will be remembered for his none pc act in a changing world .But the fact remains ,of the acts i saw the racist stuff was only a short part of his set.In my eyes he could have changed his set and still been as funny.
Even though his passing will not be missed by some he still his some ones farther and grand father.
RIP bernard.
the boys at the back

In the pursuit of happyness
A will smith movie about a san francisco salesman chris gardener, after his girlfriend walks out on him,he takes his son and tries to make a better life for him self, signing up for an unpaid internship with a stock broker training program.
They drift from shelters, to even sleeping on public transport while struggling to make ends meet.
Based on a true story and book by chris gardener,will smith pulls of a good job with this one ,but the real star of the piece is wills young son jaden smith who i believe has great talent and look forward to following his future career.
Its not one of will smiths block buster movies, but one that he can put in his portfolio as a job well done.

MR BEANS HOLIDAY.with the kids,i wasent looking forward to this as Rowan Atkinson character annoys me beyond words.But i must say i enjoyed it, some very funny moments ,nothing Rowan hasent done in his stage shows but funny none the less.Now wheres that shaggy CD,MR BOOMBASTIC here i come:D
Just finished A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON staring james justice Robinson and a host of other stars..
dave

Prob not just drugs…add partying all night and day, non stop touring, booze, smoking like a lorry exhaust, chasing young girls, etc, etc……:D

Add multi millionaire to that and ill say i’m envious.:D