Nonsence, one doesn’t ride a Ducati. One stares at a Ducati as she slowly rusts in the garage during one of her ‘seazed solid/broken’ periods.

Surely if we only want a female presenter because she looks good in leather trousers (Suzi Perry) that simply promotes sexism?

Therefore doesn’t the whole scheme backfire?

Nothing much to make me smile today- horrible weather and i’ve a rediculous stomach bug that prevents me from standing up and talking to people for any length of time. Unfortunately, my job heavily involves both. So I don’t feel great today 🙁

She needs to stop shovelling in the chips.

Mornington Cresent?

*dodges thrown objects*

I’ll get me coat…

when I was in America in a McDonalds (I know, I know) my mate tripped over a tableleg and went absolutely flying and ended up skidding to a halt on his face. A Jock-type character immediately stands over him and with a sweeping motion with his hands he yells: “SAFE!”

I know it’s late but come on people!

…three…triplets…by…a…different…father?

There’s a great story of a quite well-to-do middleaged lady in the US getting bored at home and taking on a job as a greeter at Wallmart. One day this obese, chain-smoking, greasy-haired woman comes in, with two screaming, chocolate covered urchins who proceed to act like the delinquants they were. Summoning all the manners she could muster, our heroine comments “lovely day today, and what charming children you have there. Twins?” The troll looks her up and down and spits out “Do they look like effing twins you stupid tart?” Our lady doesn’t take a second look and comments in a loud, clear voice. “Oh no madam, I just have trouble believing that you managed to get laid TWICE.”

Apologies for language if it offends.

Coming back to a clean house after my housemates FINALLY conceeded that the mess was theirs and theirs alone. Yay for having clean plates.