MESSY FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apart from humbug in my first post, I guess you could be correct.

Drill holes in its ears and the wind will rush through them making small whistling noises.

Are you in the klan?

Do you eat Grits?

If you can answer yes to both, I reckon you’re from the South.

Eggzactly.

Easter makes me cross.

“Hate to think what he is going to be like in two months time! “

What, the Pope? Might be dead by then, perhaps the pope mobile is just inert gases of archival quality? I sense a Brezhnev.

Xmas? Bloody rubbish.

To be precise, every male aged between 10 and 18 must meet on a Sunday morning at the village green in order to practice archery. All English men over 14 should carry out two hours (or so) of longbow practice a week, supervised by the local clergy.

and:

A Chelsea Pensioner may not be impersonated.

You can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight.

According to British law passed in 1845, attempting to commit suicide was a capital offence. Offenders could be hanged for trying.

It is illegal for two prostitutes to live in the same house.

The phrase “rule of thumb” is taken from the old English law stating that a husband could not beat his wife with anything thicker than his thumb.

Upon sight of a Scotsman, it is still legal to shoot him with a bow and arrow, except on Sundays.

Most goods may not be sold on a Sunday – with the exception of carrots.

A bed may not be hung out of a window

Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked mannequin.

All fair I reckon.